The fairy-tale creatures arrive in Shrek’s swamp, Lord Farquaad

 decides who he’ll marry, and then Shrek and Farquaad make a deal.

 

 

Well gents, it’s a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?

“Gents” is a way of saying gentlemen. If something is “a far cry from” a farm, it’s very different than a farm, though it could be compared to it.

 

Blah! Awful stuff!

“Blah” is a child’s way of expressing disgust or disapproval. “Awful” means extremely bad, and “stuff” is a very general word for things.

 

Dead broad off the table!

       A “broad” is a silly, slangy and somewhat dated word for a woman.

 

I live in a swamp. I put up signs! I’m a terrifying ogre!

A “swamp” is a wetland that is usually covered with water and

woody vegetation. If something is “terrifying,” it is extremely scary.

 

All of you move it! Come on, let’s go!

       The most common and versatile phrasal verb

in the English language, here meaning “hurry up!”

 

Lord Farquaad! He huffed and he puffed and he signed an eviction notice.

“To huff” is to breath heavily, and to “puff” is to breath in, as in when you breath in on a cigarette (These are words from a famous fairy tale about three little pigs). An “eviction notice” is a legal document from a landlord demanding that a tenant move out from a building (“To evict” a person is to legally throw them out).

 

Attention, all fairy tale things.

A silly way of referring to the various characters from fairy tales or children’s stories mentioned here, including Snow White and Cinderella.

 

Your welcome is officially worn out.

       If you “wear out” a welcome, the people who invited

you are no longer happy that you’re still there.

 

I’m gonna get you off my land and back where you came from!

Note that “going to”----> “gonna” in rapid speech. This is Shrek’s way of telling all the fairy tell characters that he’s going to force them to leave.

 

Shrek and donkey, the stalwart friends, off in a whirlwind big-city adventure.

“Stalwart friends” are those who are strong and stick together no matter how bad the troubles they have. A “whirlwind” adventure involves seeing lots of things in little time, with a sense of great rush or urgency.

 

I’m not the monster here, you are. You and the rest

of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world.

       “To poison” something is to give it a dangerous or deadly

substance, such as a horrible chemical, that can kill or destroy it.

 

Eat me! :: I’ve tried to be fair to you creatures,

but now my patience has reaches its end.

       “Eat me” is a sillier and less vulgar insult than “fuck you!” A “creature”

is any kind of animal, from a human to an insect to a dragon.

 

Do you know the muffin man?

       A “muffin” is a type of round sweet bread that is made with eggs.

 

My Lord! We found it!

       An alternative way of saying “My God,” used to express strong emotion.

 

Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect

kingdom of them all? :: Well, technically, you’re not a king.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall” are famous opening words for many fairy tale characters when they are talking to their mirror in order to find out the truth of a situation. A “kingdom” is a land or country where a king rules over his people. “Technically” is a way of saying legally, or in fact.

 

Just sit back and relax my Lord, because it’s

time for you to meet today’s eligiblebachelorettes.

In this case, “Lord” is a way of addressing a king or other high leader.

If a person is “eligible,” they’re available to meet and go out with others.

A “bachelorette” is a young and attractive woman who is not married.

 

Bachelorette #1 is a mentally abusedshut-in from a kingdom far, far away.

If a person is “mentally abused,” they have been emotionally mistreated, often by their parents. A “shut-in” is a person who never leaves their room or house, though this is a rarely used expression.

 

She likes sushi and hot tubing anytime.

       A “hot tub” is a large bath filled with very hot water for relaxing, though

here it’s used as a verb. This is describing the character Cinderella.

 

Bachelorette #2 is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy.

A “cape” is clothing that  fits closely at the neck and hangs loosely

over the shoulders. The “land of fancy” is a fairy tale way of referring

to places where everyone is happy and well taken care of (“Fancy” means expensive or posh when referring to restaurants or houses).

 

Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.

A very clever way of referring to the fairy tale character Snow White, who is famous for living with the seven dwarfs (little people). Note that

in certain contexts, if a girl is “easy,” she has sex with lots of men.

 

Just kiss her dead frozen lips and find out what a

live wire she is. Come on, give it up for Snow White.

A “live wire” is a slangy way of referring to a person who has a lot of unpredictable energy. In this context, “to give it up for” a person is to clap or applaud for them when they take the stage or begin to speak.

 

And last but certainly not least…

       A way of introducing the last person in a group,

but one who you still consider very important or good.

 

Bacherlorette #3 is a fiery red head from a dragon-

guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava!

A girl who is ‘fiery’ has a lot of passion or energy, and perhaps specifically sexual energy. “Lava” is the hot deadly liquid that is thrown out of active volcanoes.

 

Don’t let that cool you off.

       In this case, “to cool off” means to calm down or lose interest.

 

She’s a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

A “loaded pistol” is a slangy way of referring to a person who is passionate but perhaps emotionally unstable. A “pina colada” is a tropical drink made with coconut, pineapple and liquor.

 

Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona.

       “To rescue” a person is to save them from a great danger.

 

I will make this princess my queen and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king.

       The fairy tale land where Lord Farquaad lives.

 

Captain, assemble your finest men. We’re going to have a tournament.

A “captain” is a high rank or level in the military. “To assemble” people means to bring them together. A “tournament” is a type of contest, usually involving some sport or other skill.

 

Do you think maybe he compensating for something?

“To compensate for” something is to try and do very well at something else because you’re not so good or lucky in that first thing (Shrek is saying that Lord Farquaad is probably embarrassed by having such a small penis, and that is why he built such a big castle!).

 

Here we have some rules, let us lay them down [S]

“To lay down the rules” is to announce exactly what the rules are, in

the expectation that they will be followed (A “rule” is another word

for a law or regulation).

 

Don’t make waves, stay in line, and we’ll get along fine. [S]

       “To make waves” is to do things that cause trouble or excitement.

       “To stay in line” is to follow the law or rules and to avoid trouble.

 

Brave knights, you are the best and brightest in all the land.

       Another word for smartest.

 

All right, you’re going the right way for a smackedbottom.

“To smack” something is to hit or slap it. A person’s bottom is

their ass, behind or butt (Or for that matter, their derriere or tush!).

 

That champion shall have the honor…privilege to go forth and

rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fierykeep of the dragon.

A “privilege” is a right or honor that is given by someone else. Here, “fiery” means literally made of or surrounded by fire, and in this context, “keep” is a dated way of saying guardianship or physical custody.

           

The first runner-up will take his place, and so on and so forth.

In a contest, a “runner-up” is the person who finishes right after the winner or person in front of them. “And so on and so forth” is a way of ending a sentence when describing the continuation of a pattern.

 

Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice that I’m willing to make.

       A classic line that captures the courage of politician’s throughout history!

 

Look, it’s hideous.

       A powerful adjective that means totally gross, horrible or disgusting.

 

The one who kills the ogre will be champion! Have at him!

       “To have at” a person is to attack them with great force.

 

Can’t we just settle this over a pint?
       “To settle” an argument is to talk about it until you reach an agreement.

       “A pint” is a quantity of food or liquid, and here, refers to a pint of beer.

 

Hey Shrek, tag me!

       “To tag” a person is to briefly touch them, often in a game like baseball.

 

I’m here to Thursday. Try the veal.

       The meat of very young cows.

 

You’ve won the honor of embarking on a great and noblequest.

“To embark” on a journey is to start out on it. If a goal is “noble,” it is honorable or morally justified. A “quest” is a great journey involving lots of adventure.

 

Where you dumped those fairy tale creatures.

       “To dump” something is to get rid of it or throw it away, like trash.

 

Indeed. OK, ogre, I’ll make you a deal.

       “Indeed” is a common British way of saying in fact, or perhaps

certainly. A “deal” is an important word for an agreement.

 

Exactly the way it was? :: Down to the last slime-covered toad stool.

“Slime” is the unpleasant sticky and dirty film or substance that is found in bathtubs that are dirty, or in wet swamp lands. A “toadstool” is a type of poisonous mushroom found in swamps or other wet places.

 

And the squatters? :: As good as gone.

“Squatters” are people who illegally live in abandoned or poor apartments or houses without paying rent. If you say that a person

is “good as gone,” you’re saying that they will soon be gone, for sure.

      

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