Read and translate the text. Discuss it.

 

PARENTS ARE TOO PERMISSIVE WITH THEIR

CHILDREN NOWADAYS

 

Few people would defend the Victorian attitude to children but if you were a parent in those days, at least you knew where you stood: children were to be seen and not heard. Freud and company did away all that and parents have been bewildered ever since. The child’s happiness is all-im­portant, the psychologists say, but what about the parents’ happiness? Par­ents suffer constantly from fear and guilt while their children gaily romp about pulling the place apart. A good old fashioned spanking is out of the question, no modern child-rearing manual would permit such barbarity. The trouble is you are not allowed even to shout. Who knows what deep psychological wounds you might inflict? The poor child may never recover from the dreadful traumatic experience. So it is that parents bend over backwards to avoid giving their children complexes which a hundred years ago hadn’t even been heard of. Certainly a child needs love, and a lot of it. But the excessive permissiveness of modern parents is surely doing more harm than good.

Psychologists have succeeded in undermining parents’ confidence in their own authority. And it hasn’t taken children long to get wind of the fact. In addition to the great modern classics on child care, there are count­less articles in magazines and newspapers. With so much unsolicited ad­vice flying about, mum and dad just don’t know what to do any more. In the end they do nothing at all. So, from early childhood, the kids are in charge and parents lives are regulated according to the needs of their off­spring. When the little dears develop into teenagers they take complete control. Lax authority over the years makes adolescent rebellion against parents all the more violent. If the young people are going to have a party, for instance, the parents are asked to leave the house. Their presence merely spoils the fun. What else can the poor parents do, but obey?

Children are hardy creatures (far hardier than the psychologists would have us believe) and most of them survive the harmful influence of ex­treme permissiveness which is the normal condition in the modern house­hold. But a great many do not. The spread of juvenile delinquency in our age is largely due to parental laxity. Mother, believing that little Johnny can look after himself, is not at home when he returns from school, so little Johnny roams the streets.

2. Find English equivalents for:

Защищать; страдать от страха и вины; психологические раны; травматический опыт; подорвать родительскую уверенность; добро­вольный совет; халатность родителей.

3. Fill in the prepositions:

1. Parents suffer constantly … fear and guilt while their children gaily romp …pulling the place apart.

2. Psychologists have succeeded … undermining parents’ confidence … their own authority.

3. When the little dears develop … teenagers they take complete con­trol.

4. Lax authority … the years makes adolescent rebellion … parents all the more violent.

5. The spread … juvenile delinquency … our age is largely due … pa­rental laxity.

4. Give all possible derivatives of the following words:

 

Bewilder

fashion

permit

regulate

influence

 

Text B

 

Pre-text activity 2:

Do you agree with the following statements:

1. It’s harder to raise children with one parent than it is with two par­ents.

2. War toys are poisonous for children.

3. Parental control on viewing TV is necessary.

1. Read and translate the text:

DON'T PUSH YOUR KIDS TOO HARD

(Dr. Benjamin Spock on bringing up today's children)

 

Today's children are under stress. It is stressful for children to have to cope with groups, with strangers, with people outside the family. That has emotional effects, and, if the deprivation of security is at all marked, it will have intellectual effects, too.

We know now that if there's good day care it can substitute pretty well for parental care. But we have nowhere near the amount of subsidized day care we need. We're harming our children emotionally and intellectually to the degree that they're in substandard day care.

Children raised in single-parent homes are more stressed than other kids. It's harder to raise a child in most cases with one parent than it is with two parents. The parents can comfort and consult and back up each other.

Our emphasis on fierce competition and getting ahead minimizes the importance of cooperation, helpfulness, kindness, lovingness. These latter qualities are the things that we need much more than competitiveness. Competition imposes strains on children. It teaches them that winning is the important thing. We’ve gone much too far in stressing winning.

I was in Japan lecturing, and they told me that the rate of suicide among elementary schoolchildren is shockingly high and that Japanese elementary schoolchildren commit suicide because they are afraid that they aren't getting grades high enough to satisfy their parents.

We can at least bring up children with a strong feeling that they're in the world not just for their own fulfillment — although I think fulfillment is fine — but also to be useful and help others. Children should be brought up with a strong feeling that there are lots of problems in the neighbour­hood, the nation and the world, and that they're growing up to help solve those problems.

That emphasis on helpfulness should begin at a very early age with things as simple as letting them help set the table. Never say, «It's easier for me to do it myself.» You should encourage children to be helpful, and not by scolding them or forcing them but by supporting them or compli­menting when they're helpful.

In bringing up children there are specific things to avoid. Absolutely no violence on television. Don't give war toys. These are poisonous to chil­dren. This whole Rambo spirit is a distressing thing.

Watching television is harmful to kids. A lot of what they see brutal­izes sexuality. Every time a child or an adult watches brutality, it desensi­tizes and brutalizes them to a slight degree. We have by far the highest crime rates in the world in such areas as murders within the family, rape, wife abuse, child abuse.

If children are brought up with tension and harshness, then they'll do the same with their children. Everybody acquires his attitude and behav­iour toward his children by how he was treated in his own childhood. What was done to you in childhood, you are given permission to do. To put it more positively, parental standards are what makes for a better society, and poor parental standards are what makes for a deteriorating society.

2. Answer the following questions:

1. What does the article deal with?

2. Is this problem of any importance nowadays?

3. What effects may stresses produce in children?

4. Why are the children more stressful in single-parent homes?

5. What feelings must we educate in children?

6. What is the most necessary feeling to be brought up in them?

7. What role does TV play?

8. What is said about parental standards?

9. What are the parents worried about nowadays?

3. Give English equivalents for:

Разочарование; ценности и привычки; обеспечить поддержку; фи­нансовая ответственность; двусмысленный; безопасность; чувство общности; поощрять; родительская забота; удовлетворять родителей.

4. Fill in the prepositions:

1. It is stressful … children to have to cope … groups, … strangers, … people outside the family.

2. Children raised … single-parent homes are more stressed than other kids.

3. Our emphasis … fierce competition and getting ahead minimizes the importance … cooperation.

4. That emphasis … helpfulness should begin … a very early age.

5. Parental standards are what makes … a better society.

5. Develop the following situations making up dialogues:

1. Your son came home from school in low spirits and said that the teacher had been unfair to him. What would you do?

2. Your daughter is in her first year at college. She wants to go away for the weekend. Would you permit her?

3. Your mother decided to remarry and invited her friend to dinner. You don’t like him. What would you do?

4. Your parents are going to divorce. Would you try to prevent the di­vorce?

5. You come to a family psychotherapist for advice. Your son is ad­dicted to TV. It doesn’t matter for him what to watch. You are in despair because you can’t change the things.

6. Discuss the following questions:

1. In retrospect do you think your parents brought you up well? For which things are you particularly grateful to them? Which things do you wish they had done differently? Are you going to bring up your children in the same way?

2. Why do couples choose to have children? Or perhaps they don’t choose, it just happens without thinking too much about it? If you haven’t got children, would you like to have some, and if you have, are you glad to have them? Why?

7. Solve the problem:

You are a counseling psychologist. You have to answer the following letters:

1. We started trying drugs together a couple years ago. I stopped, but Lisa kept going. Now it’s so bad, she doesn’t even recognize me a lot of time. Her parent’s don’t care about her, and are even threatening to throw her out of the house. I’m afraid that she’ll soon have to become a prostitute or something in order to support her habit. I want to help her very much, but I don’t know what to do!

2. I’m 15. My parents got divorced five years ago. My father drank a lot and made life miserable. Although he made good money, we were al­ways broke. After they got divorced, I had to stay with my father, although my mother had custody. She had no money and she wouldn’t pay child support. When Mum met another man, I was invited to live with them. Now she is thinking of leaving him. She has told me I’ll have to go back to my father. I will not put myself in that position. What should I do?

8. Translate into English and tell what you think about it:

Сегодня родители теряются, встречаясь с многочисленными и разными способами воспитания. Бабушки и дедушки настаивают на суровой дисциплине и хорошем шлепке при необходимости. А совре­менные психологи считают, что объяснение, настойчивость и обсуж­дение — это лучшие методы воспитания. Родители обычно следуют этим современным советам и становятся более уступчивыми. Они бо­ятся, что могут травмировать ребенка несправедливым наказанием, создать у него комплексы, критикуя его неправильное поведение; сделать его несчастным, отказывая в покупке того, о чем ребенок мечтает. Проблема заключается в том, что трехлетний просит купить игрушку, десятилетний хочет велосипед, а восемнадцатилетний тре­бует машину. Их ожидания и требования растут, а родители попадают в сложное положение, если не могут удовлетворить их потребности. Дети становятся нахальными и требовательными, с ними трудно найти компромисс.

Если детям не указывать моральные рамки и настоящие ценности, они, как правило, попадают в неприятности и скоро начинают курить, принимать наркотики и совершать противоправные поступки. Обычно они обвиняют родителей в том, что их неправильно воспи­тали, и поэтому родители чувствуют себя виноватыми, не зная где и когда они сделали ошибку.

О детях необходимо заботиться с раннего детства, а не подчи­няться их требованиям и желаниям. Детям нужна любовь, а не все­дозволенность без границ.

9. Speak on the following topic:

How to bring up today's children.

 

 

СПИСОК РЕКОМЕНДУЕМОЙ ЛИТЕРАТУРЫ

 

1. Выборова Г.Е. Advanced English: Учебник английского языка для гуманитарных факультетов вузов, факультетов переподготовки и факуль­тетов повышения квалификации учителей иностранного языка. М.: Флинта; Наука, 2001.

2. Донченко Е.Н. Английский для психологов и социологов. Ростов н/Д.: Феникс, 2002.

3. Hunt Martin. Ideas and issues. Advanced. CIP Ltd, 2000.

4. Johnston Olivia, Farrel Mark. Ideas and issues. Intermediate. CIP Ltd, 1998.

5. Rudzka B. The words you need. Macmillan Publishers, 1994.

6. Wellman Guy. Wordbuilder. Macmillan Heinemann, 2004.

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