Detachment, Gratitude, and Contentment: Keys to Living in Harmony

A person becomes content with whatever comes effortlessly — as life unfolds, they accept what befalls them, because it does not touch their Soul, their Self.

Here is an example. Owing to early-life circumstances, a person had to stop school to support his family. Over the decades, he got married, raised children, and supported the children even when they got married and had their own children.

Years later, the children are adults and able to work and support the extended family (grandparents, parents, and children). And the person once again thought about things he wished to do with his life: study, spend more time on spiritual matters and less on business matter, especially now that his mind was becoming increasingly less focused on business.

Instead of seeing this as an opportunity, he became desperate with his failing business powers, trying harder, forcing, embarrassed, and making bad decisions just to bring home a salary, but instead, losing more money owing to rash decisions.

The more he forced a decision, the more troubles he got into — financially and then health-wise. He found himself in the hospital many times, incurring more expense to the family.

Then he began to pity himself, thinking, ‘I am not worthy, I am becoming a burden to the family.’ So swinging from the extreme of irrational action to inaction and lowering self-esteem, this person has bounced back and forth with no constructive vision.

With growing insecurity, he lashed out at his family as a pitiable way to feel some power. Projecting frustrations, he criticized everything the children were doing; no work was good enough because he dug for himself. Everything became about getting big money in a quick way.

This story is a recipe for disaster. This person nearly destroyed the health, love, and well being of himself and his family, all because he was enslaved by the desire to achieve the goal — in this case, money — and all because he could not accept letting go; he could not accept a change in life to a more meaningful life-purpose. This person saw himself as the doer — doing for a desired result — and could not let go even when, after years of repeating this harmful behavior, he achieved the same unsuccessful outcomes. Slowly, this person began to realize and tried to appreciate their situation, spending more time in spiritual pursuits (eg., sadhana, reading scriptures) and feeling more gratitude for his life.

There is a modern-day story relating Lord Krishna’s ideas that humans are not the doer. Act in mind, body, and senses to help others, knowing that you (the Soul) is not doing the acting. See God as the doer, and accept how life unfolds when you try your best. In the story of the unsuccessful man, he tried being the ‘doer.’ Ego kept luring him to be the hero. When that failed, ego lured him to feel he was the goat, unsuccessful. The middle path says that you must be grateful for your God-given talents, use them wisely, and see how it is God that works through you to accomplish acts. The result is the results — content from within and not because of external circumstances.

There is an expression, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again.

However, success should not be sought from the point of view of ego. Lord Krishna says, ‘success is in the trying’. To prevent ego from taking over, a person must be detached and open-minded to realize when their ego is out of control and driving them to ruin.

There is another saying: when one door closes, another opens. Accept it when a door has closed and look for new doors to be opened to you. This is a basic recipe for a contented, spiritual life. This teaching clarifies the myth some have about contentment and meditative life as an inactive life. The inaction is internal, when one’s Soul realizes it is the true non-acting self amidst daily life.

The person who is detached from getting and who is liberated from the notion of being the doer, and from receiving or earning fame and fortune, will work to help others and in this way melt away their past karma (actions). [Verse 19–23]

The sages call that person wise whose actions are done without desire for reward, and whose actions are burned by the fire of wisdom. [19]

The person who, losing the desire for the rewards of action, is ever-content, and self-reliant, all while fulfilling their responsibilities, acts not. [20]

Free from desire and ownership, self-controlled, this person is not stained by sin from performing action to sustain life. [21]

Satisfied with what life brings without undue effort, undisturbed by life’s dualities, lacking envy, and even-minded in success and failure, even while acting is not entangled. [22]

The person who is no longer attached to materialism, is liberated, and whose mind and heart have penetrated wisdom, who performs all action as an offering to God, all their karma dissolves. [23]

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