High-pitched voice, day in and day

out? And yet I did it... and why?

Because it was my gimmick... my

trademark... my five syllable, easily

Remembered combination. It's a

Simple enough formula to understand.

You take any four or five syllable

Combination that makes up a catchy,

Easily remembered phrase, and spoon

feed it to the ignorant masses...

(counting on fingers)

“Wild-and-cra-zy-guy”.

“You-can-call-me-Ray”.

“Na-no, na-no”.

“It's-not-my-job-man”.

“Dank-you-ved-dy-much”.

He looks Tony straight in the eyes.

ANDY

“Get-cha-hands-off-me”. Five

little words, Tony -- your gimmick.

TONY

I don't understand any a this.

I'm not a gimmick. I'm a artist.

ANDY

(laughing)

An artist! Theyre are no artists,

Tony! They all died of starvation,

Or cut their ears off and gave them

To sluts as going away presents.

ANDY

(continuing)

All that will survive, Tony, are

men like me... men who are clever

enough to know how to make a buck...

milk a gimmick... come on, you didn't

really believe the audience wanted you

to play “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”

seriously! To them, you've never been

anything more... than a buffoon...

a jerkoff... and I made that buffoon

jerkoff... a SUPERSTAR.

TONY

I'm not a buffoon jerkoff...

And you didn't make me anything.

ANDY

(sadistic)

In the beginning you were nothing

more than... a pitiful mental case,

Living under the delusion that you

Had what it took to go straight to

The top. Left alone, after a few

years of defeat... you would've been

Forced to face facts and give up that

ridiculous goal. But, fate entered in...

I came along and I took that “pitiful

Delusion” and shaped it into a

“multi-million-dollar-a-year reality”.

(pause)

One could go so far as to ask...

Who is the real Tony Clifton?

The puppet? Or... the puppeteer?

TONY

(stands)

I'm... I'm me... I'm Tony Clifton...

And I'm gonna go out there and tell

Those people what you've been doin'.

ANDY

It won't do you any good, Tony... You see,

I've taken care of that also. I not only created

You, but I also created the audience's reaction

to you. They're conditioned at this point.

No matter what you possibly tell them...

They're going to laugh right in your face.

TONY

Anna warned me about you...

But I wouldn't believe her.

ANDY

(derisively)

Anna!

(walking to desk)

Tony, Tony, Tony...

Andy reaches in drawer and takes out a check.

ANDY

I believe you'll recognize

The signature on the back.

He hands the check to Tony, who turns it over and stares at the handwriting.

ANDY

Anna was being paid to sleep with you.

They're all alike, Tony... believe me, I know.

The trick is to fuck them before they fuck you.

Tony let's out a wounded cry and runs from the room.

MOVIE SCREEN - THE HUNCHBACK

Being pelted with ridiculous fruits and vegetables -- coconuts, zucchinis, watermelons, whole stalks of bananas. The audience is hysterical.  Tony runs down the aisle onto the stage.

TONY

(screaming)

Stop the movie! Stop the movie!

The audience, thinking this is all part of the show, laughs louder.

TONY

Stop laughin'... this isn't a joke!

You people don't understand...

He was usin' me -- he was usin' all of us.

CUT TO

INT. PROJECTION BOOTH - SECONDS LATER - PROJECTIONIST

On phone.

PROJECTIONIST

I understand, Mr. Kaufman...

Under no circumstances stop the film.

The door opens and in runs Konway, advancing threateningly towards the projector. Projectionist attempts to stop him.

PROJECTIONIST

You stay away from that!

Konway hauls off and slugs the man, who falls limp to the floor. Konway then attempts to shut off the projector. Now knowing how, he pulls a fire ax off the wall and begins to smash it. The projector starts sparking... and comes to a halt.

MOVIE

Going dead on screen. Some members of the audience are almost beginning to believe this might be for real.

TONY

Listen... listen ta me. We've all been duped.

He's not what he seems ta be... Kaufman is a...

A tomato hits Tony smack in the middle of the face. He falls to the ground. The audience jumps to its feet. We see Kaufman preparing to throw another one, as ushers are running down the aisles handing out baskets of tomatoes to the crowd.

ANDY

(chanting)

Hit the hunch, hit the hunch, hit the hunch...

The audience, now thoroughly convinced this must all be planned, begins to unleash a fury of flying tomatoes. Tony is struck repeatedly. He struggles to rise to his feet, only to be knocked down again and again. The audience has gone wild. This is more than mere audience participation... it is a vindictive mob that has fallen into Kaufman's trap. After the last remaining missiles have found their target, the audience is left not only spent, but almost ashamed. For lying lifelessly before them, in a tomato strewn heap in the center of the stage, is Tony Clifton, their superstar, their five-syllable-easily-remembered-buffoon... who has just now become... their victim.

Thunder resounds outside. We see Anna in tears being comforted by Bugsy. Kaufman has a grin of immense satisfaction on his face... and then... Tony begins to move. The audience stirs.

TONY

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