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Eagerness to see Sri Gaura
গ ৌ র া ঙ ্ গ ত ো ম া র চ র ণ ছ া ড ় ি য ় া gauranga tomara charana chhadiya gauranga –O Gauranga! chhadiya –I left tomara –Your charana –feet [and] chalinu –went sri-vrndavane –to Sri Vrndavan. baliya –Thinking dekhiba –I would see tava –Your purva-lila –previous Pastimes, amara mane ha-ila –I decided [to go there]. [1] O Gauranga! I left Your feet and went to Vrndavan. Thinking I would see Your previous Pastimes, I decided to go there. ক ে ন স ে ই ভ া ব হ ই ল আ ম া র kena sei bhava ha-ila amara kena –Why amara sei bhava ha-ila –did I think that? ekhana –Now ka̐ diya –I am crying [and] mari –dying. dekhi’ na –Not seeing tomare –You, [my] prana –heart chhadi’ yaya –is leaving [me]. jani na –I do not know ki kari –what to do ebe –now. [2] Why did I think that? Now I am crying and dying. Not seeing You, my heart is leaving me. I do not know what to do now. ও র া ঙ ্ গ া চ র ণ ম ম প ্ র া ণ ধ ন o ranga charana mama prana dhana o ranga charana –Your reddish feet [are] mama –my prana –life [and] dhana –wealth, [but] rakhi’ –I left [them] samudra-balite –on the sand beside the ocean; ki –what ainu –have I come [here] dekhite –to see? nija matha khainu –I indulged my mind, [and now] prana-pakhi –the bird of my heart [is] udu udu –anxious to fly [away]. [3] Your reddish feet are my life and wealth, but I left them on the sand beside the ocean; what have I come here to see? I indulged my mind, and now the bird of my heart is anxious to fly away. য ত চ ল ি ’ য া ই ম ন ন া হ ি চ ল ে yata chali’ yai mana nahi chale yata –As far as chali’ yai –I go on, [my] mana –heart chale nahi –does not proceed. tabu –Still, yai –I go on jeda kari’ –stubbornly. vivarta –Transformations premera –of love amare nachaya –make me dance, [but] bujhiya na –not understanding [them, ] ami –I mari –am dying. [4] Although I go on, my heart does not. Still, I go on stubbornly …Transformations of love make me dance, but, not understanding them, I am dying. গ ৌ র া ঙ ্ গ ে র র ঙ ্ গ ব ু ঝ ি ত ে ন া র ি ন ু gaurangera ranga bujhite narinu narinu –I could not bujhite –understand gaurangera –Gauranga’s ranga –Pastimes, [and] padinu –I have fallen duhkha-sagare –into an ocean of sorrow. pai nahi –I do not get taha yaha –that which ami –I chai –want. ye kemana –How might mana kare –[my] heart act? [5] Failing to understand Gauranga’s Pastimes, I have fallen into an ocean of sorrow. I do not get what I want; what is my heart going to do now? গ ৌ র া ঙ ্ গ ে র ত র ে প ্ র া ণ দ ি ত ে য া ই gaurangera tare prana dite yai yai –I go dite –to give [my] prana –life gaurangera tare –to Gauranga tabu –but marana haya na –I do not die. baliya –I decide mariba –I will die [and] padiya –I jump samudre –into the ocean [but] matra habudubu khai –I only flounder in the water. [6] I go to give my life to Gauranga, but I do not die. I decide to die and jump into the ocean, but I only flounder in the water. স ে চ ন ্ দ ্ র ব দ ন দ ে খ ি ব া র ল ো ভ ে se chandra-vadana dekhibara lobhe lobhe –Anxious dekhibara –to see se chandra-vadana –His moon-like face, sighra uthi –I quickly get up sindhu-tate –on the shore of the ocean. punah –Again, dekhi’ nahi –not seeing [Him, my] prana –heart udi’ yaya –flies [up, and] chali –I run punah tota-vate –back down the path to the garden. [7] Anxious to see His moon-like face, I quickly return to the shore. Again, not seeing Him, my heart flies up, and I run back down the path to the garden. গ ো প ী ন া থ া ঙ ্ গ ন ে দ ে খ ি ’ গ ো র া ম ু খ gopinathangane dekhi’ gora-mukha dekhi’ –Seeing gora-mukha –Gora’s face gopinathangane –in the courtyard of Gopinath, achetana hana padi –I fell unconscious. pandita go̐ sani –Gadadhar Pandit lana rakhe –took care more –of me, [and then] dekhi –I saw [that] samjna pana –I was conscious punah –again. [8] Seeing Gora’s face in the courtyard of Gopinath, I fell unconscious. Gadadhar Pandit took care of me, and then I saw that I was conscious again. গ ৌ র গ দ া ধ র ব স ি য ় া দ ু জ ন ে gaura gadadhara basiya dujane gaura gadadhara –Gaura and Gadadhar basiya –were sitting [and] dujane –the two of Them balena –where speaking amara katha –about me, [and] amani –all of a sudden ka̐ diya –I [began to] cry [and] gadagadi yai –rolled on the ground, vichari na –not considering yatha tatha –here from there. [9] Gaura and Gadadhar were sitting and speaking about me, and all of a sudden, I began to cry and roll on the ground, unaware of where I was. ক ্ ষ ণ ে ক ব ি র হ স হ ি ত ে ন া প া র ি ksaneka viraha sahite na pari pari na –I cannot sahite –tolerate ksaneka –a moment viraha –of separation [as] gaura –Gaura nache –dances mora hrde –in my heart. deya na –He does not allow [me] marite –to die, [but] va̐ chile –when I live, kondala –we quarrel. kise –How [can] mora –my prana –heart va̐ che –live? [10] I cannot tolerate a moment of separation as Gaura dances in my heart. He does not let me die, but when I live, we quarrel. How does my life go on? হ ে ন অ ব স ্ থ া য ় গ ৌ র প দ ছ া ড ় ি ’ hena avasthaya gaura-pada chhadi’ hena avasthaya –In this condition, chhadi’ –I left gaura-pada –Gaura’s feet [and] mora asa –came vrndavane –to Vrndavan. jani nahi –I do not know kena –why e buddhi ha-ila –this decision was made, [but now my] iha-para-loka-nasa –present and future [are] ruined. [11] In this condition, I left Gaura’s feet and came to Vrndavan. I do not know what made me do this, but now my present and future are ruined. আ জ ্ ঞ া ল ই ন ু য া ই ত ে আ জ ্ ঞ া ন া প া ল ি ল ে ajna la-inu yaite ajna na palile la-inu –I took ajna –permission yaite –to go, [and] palile na –if I don’t act according [to this] ajna –permission, tate –then aparadha haya –I will commit an offence. [But] dekhiya na –not seeing goracha̐ da-mukha –Goracha̐ d’s face, mari –I am dying. morabadha –I have obstacles saba dike –in all directions! [12] I took permission to go, and if I don’t do so accordingly, I will commit an offence. But not seeing Goracha̐ d’s face, I am dying; there are obstacles all around me! গ ো র া প ্ র ে ম য া র স ঙ ্ ক ট ত া হ া র gora-prema yara sankata tahara tahara yara –Those who have gora-prema –love for Gora [undergo] sankata –distress. [That love] prana lana tanatani –pulls [their] hearts in opposite directions [simultaneously]. sabe –Everyone kanakani kare –whispers [that] ei ta’ –this [is] durdasa –the miserable state gadadhara-gane –of Gadadhar’s associates. [13] Those who have love for Gora undergo distress: that love pulls their hearts in opposite directions simultaneously. Everyone whispers that this is the miserable state of Gadadhar’s associates. Chapter Fourteen ব ি প র ী ত ব ি ব র ্ ত ্ ত Viparita Vivarta |
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