Sound of tittering laughter/accompanying music

 

ANNIE [Composing email]

This is so funny!

The good news is: Nick and Hector have got their first Posh Parties booking.

ANNIE

You’d like to book a party?

ANNIE [Composing email]

The bad news is they’ve gone to George Ducas’ house, dressed as fairies!

 

BRIDGET

I feel ridiculous!

NICK

You feel ridiculous, what about me?!

 

BRIDGET [Composing email]

Nick has made me help him with his silly children’s party.

 

NICK

Ha-ha! Hee!

 

BRIDGET [Composing email]

I don’t like children. Worse still - I’m dressed as a fairy!

 

VICTORIA

Have a good time!

 

NICK

Hello little fairies. My name is Princess Nicky. Hello!

[Clears throat] And this is Princess Hector-ina.

Ha-ha. And this – is Tinkerbell. Ha-ha!

 

DAISY

She’s really old!

 

NICK

[Clears throat loudly]

Now, Princess Hector-ina is going to show you a magic trick. Ooh! – Aren’t you, Princess Hector-ina. Ha-ha!

 

HECTOR

Now we are going to have a magical time this afternoon, aren’t we!

Now, would you like to meet Mr Whizzy?

Of course you would.

 

BRIDGET

Come on Daisy, come and meet Mr Whizzy.

 

HECTOR

Now Daisy, is Mr Whizzy in the hat?

Go on, put your hand in.

Not too far! [Clears throat]. Well, is he there?

 

DAISY

No!

 

HECTOR

No he’s not. Now, give the hat a magic tap.

 

Thumping noise

 

HECTOR

Careful, you’ll give him a headache! [Clears throat]. Oh, who is this?! Oh, it’s Mr Whizzy! … … to Mr Whizzy.

 

Sound of children laughing

 

HECTOR

Oh, Mr Whizzy hasn’t got any clothes on! Ha-ha!

NICK

Ha-ha-hah! Thank you Daisy!

Now, erm, Tinkerbell, stop that and come over here!

 

DAISY

You’ve got hairy legs and  a hairy chest!

 

NICK

Now Daisy, that’s not a very nice thing to say about Tinkerbell!

 

BRIDGET

I think she meant you!

 

NICK

Oh, ha, now!

I  am going to make someone disappear! Oooh!

Who shall it be?

 

DAISY

You!

 

NICK

Daisy, do you want to be part of the magic trick again?

Oh, Daisy! Ha-ha-ha! Come on! Magic Wigwam! Now Daisy, this is Princess Nicky’s magical wigwam.

If you go in there you’ll find a wonderful magical land!

Do you want to go in?

 

DAISY

No!

 

NICK

Of course, ha-ha-ha! Of course you do! Now in you go, come on – poppet! He-he, get in, he-he. There we are! Marvellous! Ha-ha. Now, we say the magical word, Princess Nicky-Wicky-Wocky. Hey Presto, Ping!

Is Daisy still here? Oh, she’s gone!

She must be having a wonderful time in the magical land. But it’s time to come home now, Daisy! Princess Nicky-Wicky-Wocky. Ping!

And hello Daisy.

Daisy? Daisy! Daisy! Daisy! Where did she go?

 

HECTOR

I don’t know!

 

BRIDGET

I’ll get the cake, she’ll come out then!

 

NICK

Where is she?

Where is Daisy!

 

Sound of hysterical laughter

 

BRIDGET

What a good game, Princess Nicky! Can’t you remember where Daisy is, really, your mind is like a butterfly! Ha-ha-ha!

 

Sound of harp music/laughter

 

ANNIE

BUTTERFLY!!

 

NICK & HECTOR

[Making chicken/type squawking noises]

 

Sound of children laughing

NICK

Ah-hah! The cake! OK, come out Daisy, wherever you are!

 

HECTOR

We’ve got a surprise for you!

 

NICK

She’ll come out when she see this!

Happy Birthday, Daisy, cue, Bridget! Whoo!

 

Sound of children laughing/squawking noises

 

BRIDGET

What’s going on?

 

Sound of mobile phone ringing

 

BRIDGET

Annie?

 

ANNIE

Bridget, I forgot to say, whatever you do, do not mention the word butterfly.

 

BRIDGET

Oh, why not?

 

ANNIE

Because it’s the word I used to hypnotise Nick and Hector, they might behave strangely.

 

BRIDGET

Erm, stranger than usual?

 

ANNIE

Yes.

 

BRIDGET

Erm, I think it worked!

 

ANNIE

Oh!

 

BRIDGET

So how do you de-hypnotise them?

 

ANNIE

Erm, there’s a special word.

 

BRIDGET

What is it?!!

 

ANNIE

Erm, dragonfly, erm, bee. Oh, no, wasp, ant …

 

BRIDGET

Dragonfly, bee, wasp, ant …

 

BRIDGET

Nothing’s happening!

 

ANNIE

I’ll be right there!

 

BRIDGET

Oh, hurry! Oooh!

 

Sound of screeching

VICTORIA

Oh, what the …

 

NICK

Hey, Victoria, come and rock!

 

VICTORIA

What, why is … … …

What’s going on?

 

NICK

The thing is, we were doing this magic trick and …

 

HECTOR

... We lost her.

 

VICTORIA

Nick, how could you?!

That’s it, I’m calling the police.

Police – baby darling!

 

DAISY

Oh, wicked!!

 

ANNIE

She was in Princess Nicky’s van.

 

BRIDGET

So, have you remembered the word?

 

ANNIE

Oh yes, erm, caterpillar.

Sound of harp music

 

VICTORIA

What a mess! I’m not paying you!

ANNIE

Well then, you won’t mind that I’ve put parking tickets on four Mercedes, five Ferraris and two Porsches, illegally parked outside.

 

VICTORIA

Oh, Catherine parked outside and Jude did too. All of George’s friends parked – surely we can come to some kind of an arrangement.

 

ANNIE

Mmm.

 

VICTORIA

Very well.

 

NICK

Well, I didn’t meet George!

 

HECTOR

It was a great party though and the money was good too!

 

ANNIE

Erm, you’ll need that for your fine.

 

NICK

What fine?

 

ANNIE

We had to tow your van away.

I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was yours.

 

NICK

What? !! Hey, come back!

 

 

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

Next time in EXTRA, Annie is reading her crystal ball, Bridget wants to meet a handsome stranger and what is scaring Hector and Nick?

EXTRA, don’t miss it!

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