The Imagination Is for Rehearsing Our Dreams and Reliving Our Joys

The imagination is a fascinating, powerful place. For example, remember any incident from elementary school — writing with a fat pencil, perhaps. (Remember those fat pencils?) Now, think of someplace you plan to go in the next month and imagine yourself there. Good. Now, imagine yourself on the moon, looking back at the earth — a big blue marble in the blackness of space. Excellent.

This is the power of the imagination: we can return to the past, rehearse the future, and zoom, off on flights of fancy — all within seconds.

The images you had may not have been well-detailed, or held in the imagination for very long, but you probably had some sense of each. Some people primarily see in their imaginations, others primarily hear, others primarily feel. Whatever you do is fine.

When the comfort zone has control of the imagination, it is vigorously: and creatively used against us. We relive the horrors of the past — the fears that were justified, the guilts that were especially foul, the unworthinesses at their worst, the hurt feelings at their most painful, the anger at its most destructive. Considering the false history created by the comfort zone's careful selection and occasional rewriting, it's easy to feel discouraged about ourselves and everything we might consider doing.

The comfort zone also uses the imagination when considering the future. It projects an image of not just failure but monumental failure, embarrassing failure, public and unconditional failure. Considering this opposition, it's amazing that we even get out of bed.

The comfort zone also uses every news story — and every other fictional account — of disaster to show us why we had better not do anything new, ever.

It's time to recapture the imagination from the comfort zone. Oh, sure, the comfort zone may claim to have complete ownership, or maybe a 99-year lease, but, in fact, it doesn't even have squatter's rights (although it's been squatting there for some time, doing what things often do when they squat).

Evict it! Out! Your imagination is yours. You can remember the past you choose, rehearse the future you want, and identify with the real and fictional heroes and events of your selection.

When we remember the good things from our past (and all our pasts are filled with both good and bad), we build an image of ourselves as doers and achievers — charmed, kind and terrific. This forms a solid base for future action.

When we project our dreams into a positive future, we see that we can have what we want. A positive image of the future not only shows us how to get there, it draws us to it, attracting us toward our dreams like a magnet.

When we hear some good news, read an inspirational story or see an uplifting movie, we can use our imagination to put ourselves in the center of the action. This allows us to identify with all the good, happy and wonderful images in our culture — and know that we're one of them.

The positive use of the imagination is often called visualization. The word visual in visualization does not necessarily mean "to see." Visual is used in the general sense, as in, "See what I mean?" As we mentioned before, some people see, while others primarily hear and others primarily feel. Any one, or any combination, is fine.

An excellent way to reclaim property is to build on it. We suggest building a sanctuary. If you haven't already built one from reading either LIFE 101 or You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought, you might want to take some time and do it now. We'll be using the sanctuary later in this book. If you do have a sanctuary, you might want to do a little revisiting — or even remodeling— as you read the next few pages.

Enjoy!

The Sanctuary

A sanctuary is an inner retreat you build with visualization in your imagination. Here you can discover the truth about yourself, and work to affirm it. (Make it firm,")

We call it a sanctuary. Some call it a workshop, or an inner classroom. You can call it whatever word gives you the sense of asylum, harbor, haven, oasis, shelter — a place you can go to learn your lessons in peace and harmony.

There are absolutely no limits to your sanctuary, although it's a good idea to put some limits on it, In this way, the sanctuary is a transitional point between the limitations of our physical existence and unlimitedness.

The sanctuary can be any size, shape or dimension you choose — large and elaborate or small and cozy. It can be located anywhere — floating in space, on a mountain top, by an ocean, in a valley, anywhere. (You are welcome to combine all those, if you like.) The nice thing about the sanctuary: you can change it or move it anytime — instantly.

The sanctuary can contain anything you choose. We'll suggest some things here, but consider this just the beginning of your shopping list. Before giving our design tips (you can consider us interior designers — with an emphasis on the word interior), we'll talk about ways in which you might want to build your sanctuary.

Some people will build theirs by simply reading the suggestions: as they read each, it's there. Others might read them over now for information, and then put on some soft music, close their eyes and let the construction begin. Still others may want to make this an active process. With their eyes closed (and being careful not to bump into too much furniture), they might physically move as each area of the sanctuary is built and used. All — or any combination — of these is, of course, fine.

While reading through our suggestions, you will probably get ideas for additions or alterations. By all means make notes of these, or simply incorporate them as you go. Have we gotten across the idea that this is your sanctuary? OK, let's go.

Entryway. This is a door or some device that responds only to you and lets only you enter. (We'll suggest a way to bring others into your sanctuary in a moment.)

Light. Each time you enter your sanctuary, a pure, white light cascades over you, surrounding, filling, protecting, blessing and healing you — for your highest good, and the highest good of all concerned.

Main Room. Like the living room of a house or the lobby of a hotel, this is the central area. From here, there are many directions to go and many things to explore.

People Mover. This is a device to move people in and out of your sanctuary. No one ever enters without your express permission and invitation. You can use an elevator, conveyor belt, Star Trek beam-me-up device, or anything else that moves people. Let there be a white light at the entry of the mover as well, so that as people enter and leave your sanctuary, they are automatically surrounded, filled, protected and healed by that white light, and only that which is for their highest good and the highest good of all concerned is taking place.

Information Retrieval System. This is a method of getting any kind of information — providing, of course, it's for your highest good (and the highest good of all concerned) that you have it. The information retrieval system can be a computer screen, a staff of librarians, a telephone, or any other device from which you feel comfortable asking questions and getting answers.

Video Screen. This is a video (or movie, if you like) screen in which you can view various parts of your life — past, present or future. The screen has a white Light around it. When you see images you don't like or don't want to encourage, the Light is off. When the screen displays images you want to affirm, the Light glows. (Those who are old enough to remember Sylvania's Halo of Light television know just what we mean.)

Ability Suits. This is a closet of costumes that, when worn, give you the instant ability to do anything you want to do — great actor, successful writer, perfect lover, eager learner, Master of your Universe; any and all are available to you. When you're done with an ability suit, just throw it on the floor in front of the closet — ability suits have the ability to hang themselves up.

Ability Suit Practice Area. This is a place you can try new skills — or improve upon old ones — while wearing your ability suits. Leave lots of room, because there's an ability suit for flying and another for space travel. In your sanctuary, not even the sky's a limit.

Health Center . Here the healing arts of all the ages — past, present, future; traditional and alternative — are gathered in one place. All are devoted to your greater health. The health center is staffed with the most competent health practitioners visualization can buy. Who is the most healing being you can imagine? That's who runs your center.

Playroom. Here, all the toys you ever wanted — as a child or as an adult — are gathered. There's lots of room — and time —to play with each. As with ability suits, you never have to worry about "putting your toys away." They put themselves away.

Sacred Room. This is a special sanctuary within your sanctuary. You can go there for meditation, contemplation or special inner work.

Master Teacher. This is your ideal teacher, the being with whom you are the perfect student. The Master Teacher (or MT for short) knows everything about you (has always been with you, in fact). The MT also knows all you need to learn, the perfect timing for your learning it, and the ideal way of teaching it to you. You don't create a Master Teacher — that's already been done. You discover your Master Teacher. To meet your Master Teacher, simply walk over to your people mover, ask for your Master Teacher to come forth, and from the pure, white light of your people mover comes your Master Teacher.

(We'll leave you two alone for a while. More uses for the Sanctuary later. See you both in the next chapter!)

Newfound Friends

So, fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings and anger are really our friends. Hummm. That may take some getting used to. We have, for the most part, treated them as enemies. Many people have abandoned their dreams and ransomed their futures if only they never had to feel any of them ever again.

Yet friends they are, and friends they'll stay. Our perception of their friendship might not always be up to par, but they'll continue doing their friendly activities whether we realize those activities are friendly or not.

We'll be offering techniques for learning to treat these friends as friends as we go along. For now, here are some suggestions on ways to work with your newfound friends:

1. When you're using fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings or anger to limit or discourage yourself, pause and remember:

• Fear is the energy to do our best in a new situation

• Guilt is the energy for personal change

• Unworthiness keeps us on track

• Hurt feelings remind us how much we care

• Anger is the energy for change

• Discouragement reveals our courage

You can review the chapter for each of these if, in the midst of a comfort-zone binge, you ask, "What on earth do they mean by that?"

2. Observe your personal process of discouragement. What makes you give up before you even start (or shortly thereafter)?

• What are the thoughts you think ("I'm too tired," "I'm no good at this sort of thing," etc.) when you use these emotions in a limiting way?

Where in your body do you feel fear? Guilt? Unworthiness? Hurt feelings? Anger? Which is your "favorite'? Do they gang up? Which ones always appear with which others?

3. Allow yourself to see a way in which the emotion might possibly be useful. There's no need to make it useful — zap! — not just yet, anyway. (If you do, wonderful!) Simply be aware that a "friendly" use for this seemingly unfriendly emotion is possible.

4. Forgive yourself anytime you judge yourself for treating your friends as enemies. Forgive yourself anytime you judge yourself for all the things you could have done if only you had learned this years ago. Forgive yourself anytime for anything. (Unforgiveness is the mortal in the wall of the comfort zone.) Forgiveness is an easy process. Simply say, "I forgive myself for                    " and fill in the blank with the imagined transgression. Then say, "I forgive myself for judging myself for                      " and fill in the blank with the same transgression. Forgiving is also forgetting. Let it go. It's gone. While forgetting, remember: we're not perfect — we're human.

5. Love it all — the fear, the excitement, the guilt, the power for change, the unworthiness, the worthiness, the hurt feelings, the euphoric feelings, the anger, the movement, the discouragement, the encouragement, the whole process. It's known as life. ("Life!" as Cynthia Nelma exclaimed, "Can't live with it, can't live without it.") And when you don't love it all, love that, too.

¯

The key to all these suggestions is awareness. At this point, simply be aware of the comfort zone and its effect on you.

Soon, we'll get to expanding the comfort zone enough to include your dreams — and maybe even a dance floor. For now — what is your dream, anyway?

PART THREE
DISCOVERING AND CHOOSING OUR DREAMS

Often, what we really want is hidden beneath what we've settled for. When the comfort zone doesn't allow the expanded behavior necessary to fulfill our dream, we tend to forget the dream. It's too painful otherwise.

When we know we can have what we want — that the comfort zone is under our control — we can remember what it is we truly want.

This section will explore the idea that we can have anything we want (though not everything we want), and offer suggestions on discovering and choosing our heart's desire.

On Purpose

People often confuse "goal" and "purpose."

A goal is something tangible; a purpose is a direction. A goal can be achieved; a purpose is fulfilled in each moment. We can set and achieve many goals; a purpose remains constant for life.

If the purpose were "West," for example, the goals while heading West (from New York, say) might include Philadelphia, Chicago, Los Angeles, Hawaii, the Philippines, Japan, Korea, China, Turkey, Spain, Portugal, Boston . and New York. Many goals, same purpose. From there, although we had already traveled 25,000 miles, we would still have as much "West" to go (as much of our purpose to fulfill) as when we first began.

A second journey toward the West, again from New York, might include these goals: Detroit, St. Louis, Denver, Salt Lake City, San Francisco, Midway Islands, Mongolia, Greece, Italy, France, Ireland, Newfoundland, Nova Scotia and New York. Even after another 25,000 miles, there is still as much West to go as there was in the beginning. At any point in the journey, in fact, there was (and is) always an infinite amount of movement — and goals — available while living one's purpose.

You'll note that, even though the goals are numerous, there can be many goals within a goal, and lots of freedom within each. While in France, for example, one could travel North, South, East and West. As long as Ireland was the next major goal, even East could be a fulfillment of the purpose "West."

Looking at the life of someone whose purpose is, say, "I am a grateful giver the goals along that purpose might include nursing home attendant, school teacher, physical therapist, writer and foundation president. These would, of course, only be career and professional goals. Marriage/family, social/political and religious/spiritual goals might interweave that life, all aligned the purpose, "I am a grateful giver."

While goals are chosen, a purpose is discovered. Our purpose is something we have been doing all along, and will continue to do, regardless of circumstances, until the day we die.

When we refer to a "dream" in this book, we mean a goal — usually a significant goal that would, in a profound and vital way, fulfill one's purpose. As that dream is realized, another dream is chosen, and as that is satisfied, another. When we refer to "living your dreams," we mean a life of movement from dream to dream, always on purpose.

People can misdefine a purpose (as something to get to) or misdefine a goal (as something one is always doing no matter where one is), and feel frustrated about both. When people confuse "purpose" with "goal," they often have trouble reaching a goal, which can interfere with living on purpose.

Someone may think, for example, that his goal is to be "an actor." This is fine, except whenever he is acting—no matter what, where, how or with whom—his goal is fulfilled. The automatic goal-fulfillment mechanism within him says, 'That's done. What's next?"

"What's next?" the actor puzzles. "I want to be an actor."

"You just acted," the goal-filler within says, "in that class you took. And very well, too."

"No. I want to be paid for acting." So the goal-fulfillment mechanism rallies its considerable resources and finds the actor a job as an avocado in a supermarket Vegetable-of-the-Week promotion. Pay: $250. The goal of being a paid actor having been met, the goal-setting mechanism shuts down for a while.

"Hey," the actor complains, "Why am I not getting any work?"

"You got work," says the goal-setting mechanism. "You acted. You got paid. Two goals, two goals fulfilled."

"I want more work."

"Want to try for carrot?" the goal-fulfillment mechanism asks. "Radishes are next week. You can go out for radish."

"No. Actors have agents. I want an agent."

So, the goal-fulfillment mechanism finds an agent, and the agent finds nothing.

"I want an agent who will get me work. Regular work. Performing."

An agent is found who also manages a restaurant, and the actor gets regular work performing as a singing waiter.

"No! I want to be an actor! A big actor!" So, the actor puts on 100 pounds.

The actor's problem is that he is confusing purpose with goal. If he discovered that his purpose was, say, "I am a joyful entertainer," then the week as an avocado could have been a fun-filled and fulfilling one.

It would also free him to set goals within his purpose that were clearly defined: "I want a major role in a feature film," "I want to star on a network sitcom," "I want to make $100,000 this year acting in commercials," and so on. These are the kinds of goals to which the goal-fulfillment mechanism within says, "Yes! Let's go!"

There'll be a lot more on goal setting later. For now, let's focus on the purpose. Your purpose.

What Is Your Purpose?

This is the first of several exercises in this book that involves doing — in this case, writing. Please decide now if you're reading this book just for information, or, if you're reading this book to make a significant improvement in your life. Although as authors we'd like to flatter ourselves that we could write a book the mere reading of which would make indispensable advancements in the lives of everyone who even brushed past it, we know that change comes through involvement, and involvement means doing. Our recommendation, then, is to do the exercises, starting with this one. If you read the book and later decide to do the exercises, please start with this one. It is the foundation of all the others.

To discover your purpose, get a piece of paper and start listing all your positive qualities. You might want to write each positive quality on 3x5 cards. This will make shuffling them easier later. If no 3x5 cards are handy, listing the qualities on paper will do.

(Do pick up 500-or-so 3x5 cards the next time you're out. We'll be using them later. If you're someone who tends to put off physical tasks until "later," and then never gets to them, you might want to put down this book and go get some 3x5 cards now. While you're out, consider your positive qualities. And have fun!)

Don't be shy listing your positive qualities. This is no time for false modesty. Are you kind? Considerate? Compassionate? Joyful? Loving? Loyal? Happy? Tender? Caring? Write them down.

A purpose usually begins with "/ am," followed by an attitude ("joyful" "happy" "caring") and an action ("giver" "explorer" "nurturer").

On another page (or another set of cards), start listing actions you find murturing - the positive things you like doing most. Giving? Sharing? Exploring? Teaching? Learning?

Take some time with this process. Reflect on your life. Explore its motivation.

If you get stuck, call a few friends and ask them for suggestions. Tell them you're filling out an application for the Peace Corps. You need help with the questions, "What are your best qualities?" and "What activities do you find give you the most satisfaction?"

You might also go to your sanctuary and ask your Master Teacher for some ideas. Or, go to the video screen and review some scenes of satisfaction, joy or fulfillment from your life. What were the qualities you embodied and the actions you performed in those situations?

Consider the people you admire most. What is it you admire about them? What qualities do they embody? Those same qualities are true about you, too, so write them down.

Eventually, a pattern will emerge on the "Qualities" and the "Actions" lists. Begin grouping qualities and actions under general headings. For you, "Compassionate" might include "caring," "loving" and "kind" while, for another, "Kind" might encompass "compassionate," "loving" and "caring." The idea is not to discover which is "right" from Mr. Webster's or Mr. Roget's point of view, but which resonates most clearly within you.

Start to play around with the qualities and actions in a sentence that starts with "I am..." A purpose is short, pithy and to the point. There's usually room for only one or two qualities and an action. "I am a cheerful giver," "I am a joyful explorer," "I am a compassionate friend."

Please consider our grammatical structure as a starting point. "I am a minstrel of God," "I sing the song of life" or "I serve the planet" are outstanding purposes that don't fit the "I am a [quality] [action]" format. Go to the spirit of what a purpose is — the purpose of a purpose, if you will — and find your purpose there.

After a while of rearranging qualities and actions, something will click. A voice inside will say, "Yes, this is what I've always done, and this is what I'll always be doing." (This discovery can come with equal parts joy and resignation — joy at seeing that our life has had a direction all along; resignation in noticing it may not be as glamorous as we had secretly hoped.)

And that's your purpose.

You might want to place your purpose in a prominent place in your sanctuary — emblazoned on the wall in letters of fiery gold, or, perhaps, on a hand-sewn sampler.

We suggest you not tell your purpose to anyone. That's why we suggested — as a joke, of course — the Peace Corps ruse. (You didn't really tell your friends you were joining the Peace Corps, did you? Oh, dear. All right. Well, call them back, and tell them it wasn't really the Peace Corps. It was really the Nobel Selection Committee. Yeah, that's it. The Nobel Selection Committee has been asking a lot of questions about you, and you wanted to have a few comments prepared, should you unexpectedly be invited to Stockholm.)

Keeping your purpose to yourself is not so much secret as it is sacred. Consider it a beautiful plant. Keep the roots (the essence of the purpose) deep within yourself, and let the world share in its fruits.

Please save your lists (stacks) of qualities and activities. We'll be using them later.

Intention vs. Method

An intention is what we want. Methods are the ways of getting it. An intention is our heart's desire. Methods are the actions, information, things and behaviors we use to get it.

The intention may be "Go to Chicago." The method might be car, train, walking, flying, roller skating, pogo sticking, etc. For each intention, there are many methods.

Unlike our purpose, which is discovered, an intention is chosen. If our purpose is West, our intention can be any destination West of wherever we happen to be. The choice of that destination is ours.

When you ask some people why they're not living their dream, they usually respond with a listing of unavailable methods: not enough money, looks, information, contacts, breaks, etc. All these are just methods. They may sound rational, but they are, in reality, rational lies.

Most people let their methods decide their intentions. This is a fundamental mistake in manifestation. Those who look at what they already have before selecting what they want are involved in making do, not doing.

The reason many people, feel bored and unfulfilled is that they spend their lives snuffling and reshuffling the methods they already have. This can be like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic — no matter how well it's done, the result is the same. As someone said, "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."

When choosing a dream, look to your heart, not to your "reality." That's why it's called a dream. Make that dream your intention. Commit to it. Act upon that commitment. The methods to fulfill that dream will appear.

An intention might be a method to achieve a greater intention, and that greater intention might be a method for obtaining a greater intention still.

For example, a taxi might be the method to get to the airport, the airport being the intention. The airport might be the method of getting to Chicago, a larger intention. Chicago might be a method of traveling West, which is a larger intention still, all of which fits within the purpose, "I am joyfully traveling West."

We can add new methods to our lives regardless of age, circumstances, situation, or anything else. It simply requires a willingness to learn. And learning methods that can radically improve our lives doesn't necessarily take a lot of time.

Imagine the difference between a newborn infant and a two-year-old. An infant cannot walk, talk, coordinate its body, control its bowels, eat solid food, understand language or see very well. By two, the child is well on the way to mastering all these. That's how much learning a human can do in two years.

That same transformational amount of learning can take place in any similar period of time. In fact, as an adult, we can learn even faster. All it takes is commitment and willingness.

We'll discuss the techniques of commitment and willingness later. For now, feel free to choose a goal that seems "impossible." Possible and impossible are simply terms to describe how many methods one has available that already fit the goal. In fact, why not choose for yourself the intention to create a perfect intention?

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Meanwhile, here is some Good Advice to ponder:

"Never eat anything whose listed ingredients cover more than one-third the package." (Joseph Leonard)

"Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not a piece of advice, it is merely a custom." (Mark Twain)

"Write injuries in dust, benefits in marble." (Benjamin Franklin)

"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first." (David H. Comins)

"Let your intentions create your methods and not the other way around." (The authors — although Benjamin Franklin said it first)

"Follow your bliss." (Joseph Campbell)

"After ecstasy, the laundry." (Zen statement.)

Needs vs. Wants

Let's be clear about this - any time we refer to "wants" in this book, we mean wants, not needs.

Our needs are already fulfilled, and have been fulfilled — consistently — from the time we were born, until this very moment.

We can make this seemingly bold statement, and include you in it, because, if it weren't true, you wouldn't be reading this book. In fact, you wouldn't be here at all. When human needs are not fulfilled, death occurs. Period.

Needs are food, shelter, clothing, air, water and protection. (Even this may be a long list: "shelter," "clothing" and "protection" cover pretty much the same ground — keeping the elements and the elephants at bay.) Everything else we think we need is a want.

The rule of thumb: if you can live without it for even a short period of time, it's a want. We didn't say happily live without it, or comfortably live without it — just live without it, as in exist.

"Not love?" some might protest. Whoever or whatever is providing you with food clothing, shelter, air, water and protection loves you beyond measure. Romantic love ("I love you. Sigh." "I love you, too. Sigh.") is all very nice — , but it's a want, not a need.

We get into trouble when we call a want a need — it begins to corrupt our integrity. When we say we need something, the body goes into red alert. Need? That's like food, water, air! The body — the whole being, in fact — uses all its resources to meet the need right away. After too many false alarms, it becomes the story of the little boy, who cried "Wolf!" once too often. Eventually, our urgent plea of "I need!" is ignored.

Meanwhile, a part of us is patiently waiting to help us fulfill our wants. The simple statement, "I want...," committed to and acted upon, can move mountains. When we call our wants "needs," however, a part of us says, "OK, let's just see how much you really need this."

As a poet once put it. "My needs destroy the paths by

Yes, we do need, but those needs are entirely physical. Emotionally, we are whole and complete just as we are (although we may not realize that fully as yet).

Saying we need something outside ourselves in order to have a positive feeling within (joy, happiness, love) implies that we are somehow lacking. This is simply not the case. In this sense, saying "I need..." is an affirmation of personal deficiency — even if it is followed by very nice words.

Take, for example, "I need to give my love to others." The giving of one's love to others is all very nice, but the inherent lack in the "I need..." part of the sentence pollutes the whole thing. "I want to give my love to others" is so much, well, less desperate, and somehow, um, nicer.

It's fine to want something a whole lot. That's part of the process of manifestation. The next section of this book, in fact, is about becoming more passionate about our dream. When we start calling a want a need, however, we step over the line from being passionate to being impoverished.

What we need is always supplied to us, and always will be, until the day we die. Let us be grateful for that. And let's pursue our wants and desires from this platform of fulfillment and gratitude.

Selfish vs. Selfing

Yes, we're going to coin a word here. (What would a self-help book be without a coined word or two?) The word we're going to coin is selfing.

Selfing means doing for one's Self, in the larger sense of Self, as in True Self, or "To thine own self be true." It means fulfilling the dreams, goals and aspirations inherent within us. It means living our fife "on purpose."

Selfish, on the other hand, is the petty, endlessly greedy gathering of stuff (houses, cars, boats, clothes), stuff (husbands, wives, children, lovers), and more stuff (power, fame, money, sex). It's the relentless pursuit of glamour at all costs. It's worshipping the god of other people's opinion.

Selfing is knowing what you want — what you want, not what you should want because others say you should want it — and moving toward it. Others may call you selfish, but you know that you are selfing — "being yourself."

As Ralph Waldo Trine explained, "There are many who are living far below their possibilities because they are continually handing over their individualities to others. Do you want to be a power in the world? Then be yourself. Be true to the highest within your soul and then allow yourself to be governed by no customs or conventionalities or arbitrary man-made rules that are not founded on principle."

Those who do fulfill their dreams, naturally share that fulfillment with all those around them. Inviting others to enjoy the advantages of the goal is inherent in the process of realizing a dream; it's an organic part of the process.

Someone studying to be a doctor may spend all her time, energy and resources on learning. For several years, she may appear to others to be "selfish." She will, however, spend the remainder of her lifetime applying what she has learned during this "selfish" period to benefit others. Was it truly selfish after all?

Selfing is putting yourself first in the abundance of now.

George Bernard Shaw explained the difference between selfing and selfish when he wrote, "This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

Shaw's first use of "self ("...a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one...") would be the large Self, his second use ("...a feverish selfish little clod...") would be the petty self.

In moving toward your goal, it may be necessary to use all your available resources toward the fulfillment of that goal. That's to be expected, and that's selfing. Others (especially those who have some of your resources — such as time and attention — taken from them) may call you selfish. The question is, "What's more important — your goal, or others' opinions of your goal?"

It's amazing how many people — through their actions — answer the latter.

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