There’s no place like home

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Module 1

There’s no place like home

Characters:

Troy Hopkins a bachelor of Computer Operation, Chicago, Illinois, the USA

aged 22

Nick Ritchie a senior student of Marketing, London, Great Britain

aged 21

Eve Spencer an undergraduate student of Journalism, Montreal,

Canada

aged 24

Alice Cameron a student of Business School, Brighton, Great Britain

aged 23

Steve McNeal a post-graduate student of sociology, Edinburgh, Scotland,

Great Britain

aged 24

Boris Ivanov an undergraduate student of sociology, PSTU, Perm, Russia

aged 21

Natasha Sokolova a student of public relations, PSTU, Perm, Russia

aged 20

Nastya Novikova a distant learning student of ecology, PSTU, Perm, Russia aged 19

Listening

WHAT A FAMILY IS

Students from different countries are staying with the Russian families. After having unpacked their luggage they have met the Russian students and share their opinions of the host families.

Troy : Let’s get acquainted as we are going to spend so much time together. My name is Troy.

Boris: I’m Boris. I’m glad to meet you all. I’m a student of sociology.

Steve: Nice to meet you. I come from Scotland. I’m in sociology as well. We have much in common, don’t we?

Boris: What a fabulous coincidence! Don’t you just research the problems of the families? I’m writing a dissertation on the problem “How families have changed in Russia”.

Steve: The topic of my investigation is “Family strengths and family values”.

Boris: So we’ve got plenty of things to discuss, I guess. By the way, how do you like your host family?

Steve: I’d like to say, the family I’m staying, with is the so-called extended one. They are so many to live under the same roof. Let me see … all in all – nine: grandparents, their daughter with her husband and two children, their son with his wife and a toddler.

Nastya: You’re kidding! Nowadays extended family groups are uncommon. I mean several generations living in one household.

Steve: In that case I think I’m fortunate to stay with such a family. So I’ll keep an eye on their life and compare it with a British one.

Natasha: And now, do grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and nieces and nephews live together in Britain?

Steve: The Royal family is a perfect example.

Alice : Probably being a member of a clan is a good thing. As for me I’ve got neither brothers nor sisters, only my Мom. I believe having both parents is better. When people get married they never know what can happen in future. I mean divorce, single-parent family or remarriage. My Mom, for example, divorced with my father and hasn’t remarried again.

Troy : Don't you think it's better to stay single? What are the advantages and disadvantages of getting married?

Nick: Well if you ask me, it all depends on your circumstances.

Troy : What do you mean?

Nick: I mean that people's situations can be very different.

Troy : What are you trying to say?

Nick: To come to the point, there are so many different motives for marriage that it's impossible to generalize about why people prefer married to single status.

Eve: Rubbish! It must be possible to compare living together with someone to living on your own. What about independence?

Boris: But you don't seem to realize that some married people live totally independent lives.

Eve: That may be so, but for most people the whole point of marriage is to live together and possibly to raise a family. That's what this discussion's about.

Alice : In that case, it's obvious that children are a commitment for life. I guess that many single people have different priorities or else they believe that they would make unsuitable parents. Surely, there's more to marriage than having children.

Boris: If you're talking about getting married, the divorce rate is so high that these don't seem to be relevant any more. Why not just stay single. You can still live together with other people for as long as you find them compatible…

Boris’s story

Family Survey

The family is an old and fundamental social institution. In the past it was the centre of political, economic, educational, and religious activities. But the position of the family in society is different now. The family is an institution based on kinship. One of its functions is to replace and nurture the members of society. Every culture has rules and norms that shape the family in different ways. Kin refers to people related to one another through common ancestry, marriage, or social agreement. According to the size of family unit, families are nuclear (husband, wife and children), extended (nuclear family plus other relatives), modified-extended (each nuclear family lives in separate houses, but there is visitation) and reconstituted or blended (new family that is the result of divorces and re-marriages), single parent family (one parent raising children).

Families are who you love. Our families all “look” different and it's always been so. A family is a care giving unit. It might consist of a couple: a mother, a father and children; a single parent and a child; grandparents and grandchildren; a sibling group.

Families are the foundation of society. They are where we come into the world from, where we are nurtured and given the tools to go out into the world, capable and healthy.

When families break down and fail to provide the healthy nurturing we need, the effects impact not only our own lives, but also our communities. In other words, we all pay for unhealthy families. If we ignore the suffering, we suffer the consequences.

In the past few decades, the world has seen major changes in the face of the family. Since 1975, the divorce rate has doubled resulting in the increase of single-parent households, remarriages and extended families.

According to the latest surveys, single parents maintain 27.3 percent of the family households with own children under 18. There are 2.1 million father-child and 9.8 million mother-child families. In the mother-child family groups, 42.2 percent of mothers have never been married.

Most of the time when a person thinks of the definition of a family, the image of a mother, father and children is what comes into the mind. That is actually the definition of a nuclear family, which is parents, and one or more children. However, there are more definitions that can be used to define a family such as a single-parent family which is one parent and a child or children. Extended family is when a nuclear family or single-parent family lives with any extended family members.

Family units take a variety of forms, all of which involve individuals living under one roof. The family form or structure does not indicate how healthy the family is or how they function. The family form is merely the physical makeup of the family members in relationship to each other without respect to roles and function.

A. More than 50 % of people live in nuclear families. A nuclear family consists of a mother, a father, and their biological or adoptive descendants, often called the traditional family. The nuclear family was most popular in the 1950’s and 60’s. The nuclear family can be a nurturing environment to raise children in love, to spend time with children, to support them emotionally, to low stress, and to provide a stable economic environment. In nuclear families, both adults are biological or adoptive parents of their children.

There are three types of married nuclear families depending on employment status of a woman and a man. In the first type, a man works outside the home while a woman works inside the home caring for children. 28 percent of all households fit this description. In the second type of married nuclear family, a woman works outside the home and a man cares for a children. This constitutes 2 percent of the families. In the third kind of married nuclear family, both a wife and a husband work outside the home, they are breadwinners.

B. One of the most striking changes in family structure over the last twenty years has been the increase of single parent families. In such a family there is only one parent in household raising children. More than half of all children will spend some of their lives in a single-parent family. Currently, 88 percent of these families are headed by women. In 1970, the number of single parent families with children under the age of 18 was 3.8 million; by 2005 the number had more than doubled to 9.7 million. In single parent families parents and children are more willing to co-operate with each other to find solutions to solve household problems.

C. Since 2005 21% of all people have lives in extended families. An extended family is two or more adults from different generations of a family, sharing a household. It consists of more than parents and children; it may include parents, children, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, foster children etc. The extended family live together for many reasons: raise children, care for a disabled relative, or tackle crucial financial problems. Sometimes children are brought up by their grandparents when their biological parents died or no longer can look after them. Extended families can be found all over the world in different communities and countries. The number of these families has increased by 40 percent in the past ten years. There are three types of extended families: one, two and three generation families. Forty eight percent of all extended families live in a two generation family.

Read and decide . Which of the two pictures do you think shows the typical family of the future?

Eve’s story

A nuclear family

An extended family

Multiple-choice quiz

PREPOSITION COMBINATION

be acquainted WITH	знакомиться с
admire (someone) FOR (something)	восхищаться к-л
agree WITH (someone) ABOUT/ON (something)	соглашаться с
argue WITH (someone) ABOUT (something)	спорить с
be bored WITH/BY	испытывать скуку
depend ON	зависеть от
break UP	расходиться
be friendly TO/WITH	быть дружелюбным
get ON WITH	ладить
grow UP	становиться взрослым
independent FROM	не зависящий от
be interested IN	интересоваться
be involved IN	быть вовлеченным
look AFTER	заботиться о
look FORWAD TO	предвкушать
get married TO	выйти замуж/жениться
be polite TO	быть вежливым
be proud OF	гордиться
be related TO	иметь отношение
rely ON	полагаться
be responsible FOR	отвечать за
be satisfied WITH	удовлетворять
take care OF	присматривать за
talk TO/WITH(someone) ABOUT(something)	разговаривать

China The Wu family

The Wu family live in a small town called Shiping, about 150 km from Kunming, in southern China. The nine members of the Wu family ____________an attractive house surrounded by trees, next to a lake. Every three days, different members of the family ___________the boat out on the lake and ___________the plant called water hyacinth which is used to feed pigs. Every Sunday, Yu Xian and Ba Jiu _________their produce to the village market to sell and most of the family income __________from this. They are well respected in the village and known for their honesty. Ba Jiu is retired local official.

Eight-year- old Wu Dong ____________his whole morning at school. His school is one of the best in the area.

At the moment Yu Xian ___________a wide variety of dishes in the kitchen. Jian Chun and Rong, the daughters-in-law, ______________the family washing.

After working hard all day, the family usually ___________ their evenings relaxing on the sofa in front of the television. They __________this opportunity to spend time together.

USING IF

TRUE SITUATION: will (a) If you need some money, I lend you some. Simple Present can CONTRARY-TO-FACT SITUATION: would (b) If you needed some money, I lend you some. Simple Past could	In (a): Perhaps you need some money. If that is true, I will (or can) lend you some. Reminder: Do not use will in an “if-clause”. In (b): In truth, you don’t need any money. But if the opposite were true, I would (or could) lend you some.

SUMMARY

SITUATION	IF- CLAUSE	RESULT CLAUSE	EXAMPLES
TRUE IN THE PRESENT/FUTURE	simple present	will can + simple form	If I have enough money, I will (can) buy a ticket.
CONTRARY-TO-FACT IN THE PRESENT/FUTURE	simple past	would could + simple form	If I had enough money, I would (could)buy a ticket.

EXERCISE 1

EXERCISE 2

Find answers to the following questions

1. Who does the singer blame for the problems between her mother and father? (she thinks her own behaviour isn’t responsible, she also blames her mother for saying nasty things)

2. What solutions does she offer? (she doesn’t promise to spill milk at the table, she offers to do anything to save the marriage)

3. What particularly upsets her? (Her mother's crying and her father's threats to leave. She thought of living between two addresses.)

4. What long-term effects does she anticipate? (She will sleep properly at night if the marriage is saved. She will ever trust love.)

5. What does the singer think will improve the marriage? (She wants them to pretend they are happy. She wants them to split.)

6. How does she try to intervene? (She tells him that her mother really loves him and that she loves him too. She doesn’t promise to be his little girl forever.)

7. How does she feel? (She feels it is like growing up in the middle of a battlefield. She wants to run away )

8. What is the current situation within the marriage? (Father has already left once and the singer has a step-brother somewhere. Mother & Father are not arguing over the children.)

Steve’s story

The way to a strong family

Building a strong family is like building a house. Both need a plan. A strong family based on unity and love takes careful planning, but it's worth every moment. The better you know about what you are doing and the better the material and tools you use, the more likely you are to build something that will withstand the test of time. But, no matter how carefully you construct a house, or how conscientiously you construct a family, they both require constant maintenance and occasional repair.

Families can work together to make their home a sacred centre for family life, a place where each family member feels a sense of belonging and a place of refuge and shelter from the outside world. When families create a sacred home, the comforting environment nourishes each family member, strengthens relationships, and fosters learning the important lessons of life. It is inside the home that relationships are strengthened and joy is felt.

All families have strengths

Caring and Appreciation

Loving and caring in families involves much more than the feeling of love. Strong families notice and share positive aspects of each other. They notice the talents, skills and achievements, special qualities, and characteristics that make the other person unique. They find ways to be positive even when another family member makes a mistake. They make a conscious effort to develop closeness and show love at home. Expressions of kindness increase family life satisfaction.

Time together

Giving time is an important way of showing love and appreciation. A strong family finds that opportunities for quality time emerge from quantity time: the more time a family spends together, the better chance they have of sharing quality experiences. Eating meal together, talking about the events of the day, sharing joys and defeats, doing household chores together, and spending some evenings popping corn and watching movies are examples of shared activities.

Commitment

There are many ways to foster commitment at home: discovering and enhancing family traditions. A family tradition is an activity or event that occurs with regularity and holds special meaning to a family. Family traditions promote feelings of warmth and unity, stability and safety for family members.

Communication

Strong families communicate. They take time to talk and listen to one another. They share their hopes and dreams, feelings and concerns. They take the time to listen and respond to what others have to say.

Flexibility

Strong families develop predictable routines, roles, and rules that govern everyday life and provide for continuity and stability. Some of the more obvious patterns are who cooks, washes dishes, does the laundry, fixes the car, make decisions, express anger, affection, or other emotions. At the same time families stay flexible, realizing that changing their routines can help them cope with stress. The varied circumstances of family life may necessitate individual adaptation. Since no family knows what tomorrow will bring, being adaptive and flexible is a good trait for family members to develop.

Spirituality

Strong families share a belief in something greater than themselves. They agree about what is right and wrong and what is really important to them. These shared values give families purpose and help them unite on goals. Spirituality is thus a powerful source of strength for these families.

Community and family ties

Strong families are connected to others in the community. They don’t stand alone. Such families are closely involved with other families and friends, schools, churches, and local organizations that promote the well-being of individuals and communities. Parents support groups that help develop and educate their children.

Family values

Values are a reflection of who we are, of our culture and of our own unique heritage. Being clear about our values enables and empowers us to establish priorities and make decisions that we can live with and by. What we learn from our families in childhood builds character and serves us throughout our lives. Families guide personal growth and education, while offering love and protection.

Family history

Strong families have a need for connection to the past. The past influences the present. Understanding and appreciating family history keeps families connected from one generation to the next.

Contentment

Contentment is the state of being happy and the satisfaction with the resources and circumstances that define the family. Families can promote more contentment with a family approach to goal-setting and decision-making.

Optimism

Optimism can be defined as the energy that fuels your thoughts, feelings and actions based on the difference between your expectations and your perceptions of a situation. Families that develop a positive attitude and are generally optimistic can maintain healthy relationships.

The following story has been jumbled up. There should be 3 paragraphs, each of which has a topic sentence and some other sentences. The topic sentences are given below. Decide which other sentences (a-i) belong to each paragraph. Then put the sentences in order.

The Nears Blended Family

Paragraph1

The Irene and Ken Nears Family is an exemplary model of the “blended family”.

_______ _________ ________

Paragraph2

Irene also returned to school, working and attending college to receive a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from Shaw University.

___________ _____________ __________

Paragraph3

Ken is employed at Family Youth Incorporated and is pursuing a doctoral degree at North Carolina State University in Guidance Education.

___________ _____________ ____________

c Irene and Ken brought to this union daughters, Sara and Kate, from their previous marriages.

a Having lost her first husband Irene became a single mother of her biological daughter, Sara, and adopted Meredith.

e She gave her a stable, loving and secure family.

f When Irene married Ken, he brought with him another teenage daughter, Kate.

b Through their remarkable strength of character, devotion and wise parenting, the Nears have created a personal habitat of shared respect and deep connections.

i Irene and Ken are diligent to identify and secure resources that lead to greater economic, health, employment and educational opportunities for family members.

h Both Irene and Ken live economically and creatively to prepare for their daughters’ future education and their own professional development.

g Their eldest daughters Meredith and Sara have begun their first year at Fayetteville State University and Peace College, respectively, and the youngest daughter, Kate, is a student at Sanderson High School.

d The key to success in the Nears family is a happy and caring home atmosphere.

Read the textand tick how you feel about your family.

TIME TOGETHER

Strong families recognize that there are benefits and pleasures to be gained from time and activities together. By spending pleasant time together, families build a reserve of good feelings and are able to cope with personal and family crisis more effectively.

Family unity encourages families to create daily routines as well as special traditions and celebrations which affirm members, connect them to their family roots, and add fun to ordinary family events. What families do together does not matter as much as that they do something together that is mutually planned and enjoyable. Spontaneity, humor, wit, and fun are goals to work toward.

Family time does not come easily. The challenge is to manage and prioritize your time so that family time is possible. It:

· helps everyone to feel that they are important

· helps build family pride

· keeps the line of communication open between family members

· instills an appreciation of family

· helps family members prioritize and value family time

· can foster creativity and provide a fun-filled experience.

A quality that constantly appears in strong families is a feeling that they can depend on each other in “good” times and “bad” times. The sense of knowing that someone is always there for you helps individuals develop a well balanced self-esteem and a sense of individual worth. The key to success in building family unity is planning, perseverance, and flexibility. Your relationship with the members of your family is the foundation upon with your family is built. The stronger the foundation is, the more strength you can draw from it.

In Our Family

_____ We have a number of common interests.

_____ We like to have fun together.

_____ We feel comfortable with each other.

_____ We like to give each other a chance to do new things.

_____ We enjoy hearing our grandparents' stories about the past.

_____ We enjoy simple, inexpensive family activities.

_____ We like to have a place we call 'home.'

_____ We feel strongly connected to each other.

_____ Hanging out together builds strong relationships.

_____ We have lots of good times together.

_____ We often laugh with each other.

_____ Observing family rituals and customs is important to us.

_____ We enjoy sharing our memories with each other.

_____ We enjoy having unplanned, spontaneous activities together.

_____ All things considered, we have adequate time for each other, and we enjoy the time we share together.

Prove your feelings with the examples. Write three sentences describing your family time together.

Our family spends time together doing these things:

1. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

ACTION PLAN

Statement of Goals____________________________________________________________

For each goal determine:

What actions you will take __________________________________________

How you will take action ___________________________________________

Who or what will help you __________________________________________

Why you might not take action _______________________________________

When you will take action __________________________________________

In the times of knights, princesses and kings, people created special signs called family crests to represent their families and what they stood for. Colour the family crest. In each square draw a symbol representing something about your family. Examples might be a football if your family loves sports, a food you love to cook together, a group of stars or flowers with one for each family member, or a favourite animal.

1. What do you consider to 2. What three family

be your family’s greatest activities do you enjoy

achievement? doing?

3. What one thing could 4. What three family

other family members rituals mean a lot

do to make you happy? to you?

5. What is something that 6. What three words could

your family improved over be a family motto that

the past two years? you could believe in?

Family is a social educational institution. Families look different. It might be a GROUP of STUDENTS involved in learning process and mutual activities. The GROUP is a community where students are nurtured and are given the tools to go out into the world, capable and healthy.

All about us

Put an "S" for strength beside the qualities you feel your /\group has achieved and a "G" beside those qualities which are an area of potential growth. If the characteristic does not apply to your group or is not an important characteristic, put an "NA" for not applicable.

My My family’s

Opinion opinion

_______ _________ 1. I clearly say what I mean

_______ _________ 2. I am an attentive and sympathetic listener

_______ _________ 3. When I don’t understand something I ask

questions

_______ _________ 4. I let other people finish talking before I speak

_______ _________ 5. I am straightforward and forthright in

expressing my thoughts and feelings to others

_______ _________ 6. I rarely use sarcasm and insults

_______ _________ 7. I willingly listen to the ideas and feelings of

others

_______ _________ 8. When stating an opinion, I use words like “I

think” and “It seems to me”

_______ _________ 9. I seldom get angry or hostile when someone

disagrees with me

_______ _________ 10. I am sensitive to nonverbal signals, like tone of

voice and body language

The more “trues” you have, the more skillful you are as a communicator. What can you learn from this? Write a paragraph following the paragraph plan below. Use the following words to link ideas in the paragraph.

PLAN		Linking words
1. What skillful communicator you are.

Also

For example

In other words

Moreover

In addition

But

Although

Nevertheless

However

In spite of

Thus

In conclusion

Therefore

Finally

2. What aspects of communication you need to work on.

3. What family’s pieces of advice on how to improve them you’ll follow.

4. What steps you should take.

All about us

Put an "S" for strength beside the qualities you feel your group has achieved and a "G" beside those qualities which are an area of potential growth. If the characteristic does not apply to your group or is not an important characteristic, put an "NA" for not applicable.

FAMILY HISTORY

Strong families have a sense of family HISTORY. They have a need for connection to the past. Knowing family history provides ROOTS and a sense of belonging. Recognizing the diversity of past generations can help family members appreciate their own uniqueness at the same time they celebrate their similarities. The past influences the present. Understanding and appreciating family history keeps families connected from one generation to the next.

Family history can be promoted by:

· telling favourite family stories

· relating important family events

· tracing family members who have moved away or are deceased

· attending family gatherings and reunions

· communicating regularly

· sharing family history with younger family members

· keeping family traditions alive

· remembering and celebrating family birthdays, anniversaries, weddings and graduations.

It is never too late to begin to learn about your family history. Family history is important because it:

· develops a sense of stability and self-esteem

· provides a support system

· helps to understand inherited traits

· identifies health or medical risks

· provides a family legacy.

Introduction Paragraph 1 set the scene (name, place, time, reason) Main Body Paragraph 2 preparations Paragraph 3 description of the actual event/activities Conclusion Paragraph 4 feelings, comments, final thoughts

Briefly introduce the event, stating the place, the time and the reason. e.g. On a sunny summer day in … there was a really memorable occasion. My family had (cooked, celebrated, bought, did)… Give more detailed information concerning the preparations and the description of the event in the main body. e.g. Weeks before the occasion … Finish by describing people’s feelings or commenting on the event. e.g. The entire event was a huge success and everyone agreed that it was a lot of fun.

Older relatives love to share their memories. Listening to them helps us to understand our own family history. Write a short story describing a significant event in your family. Arrange your piece of writing in the following way.

All about us

Totem Poles are symbols represent the character of each group member. Each group member chooses an animal, insect, or character to represent him or herself. Each should think about their totem and why it is meaningful to them. What marks and symbols would stand for your group? Collect things you think stand for your group. Use photos, postcards, drawings, or anything else you choose. You can even include symbols of your pet. Arrange things on the totem pole.

Look at the six statements for this task. You will hear the text about one more family strength – commitment. If you think it’s correct, put a tick in the box under A for YES. I f you think it’s nor correct, put a tick in the box under B for NO.

A B

YES NO

· Strong families are committed to helping

and promoting the happiness of each other. □ □

· One way to build family commitment is

to practice parties. □ □

· Commitment also comes from an active

involvement in decision-making. □ □

· Traditions can build a feeling of stability

and safety for family members and are

important in making a family bond. □ □

· Each person has an opportunity to share what

she/he thinks is important. □ □

· Because these traditions have meanings

that are special to the family, they create

feelings of warmth, closeness, and specialness. □ □

COMMITMENT

Commitment is a positive quality that constantly appears in strong families. They share the kinds of experiences that make the family more attractive than other groups. Strong families are committed to helping and promoting the happiness of each other.

Commitment also comes from an active involvement in setting family goals. Each person has a chance to share what she/he thinks is important.

One way to build family commitment is to practice family traditions. A family tradition is any activity or event that occurs regularly and holds special meaning for that family. The tradition may be as simple as stories, Saturday morning pancakes or an annual big vacation. Because these traditions have meanings that are special to the family, they create feelings of warmth, closeness, and specialness. Traditions can build a feeling of stability and safety for family members and are important in making a family bond – bedtime routines, weekend meals, summer vacations, birthdays, and holiday celebrations.

Put an "S" for strength beside the qualities you feel your family has achieved and a "G" beside those qualities which are an area of potential growth. If the characteristic does not apply to your family or is not an important characteristic, put an "NA" for not applicable.

In Our Family

_____ Responsibilities are shared fairly.

_____ Everyone gets a say in making decisions.

_____ Individuals are allowed to make their own choices.

_____ We find it easy to trust each other.

_____ We like to do things for each other that make us feel good about ourselves.

_____ We have reasonable expectations of each other.

_____ We allow each other to be ourselves.

_____ We have a high regard for each other.

_____ We respect the roles each of us plays in the family.

_____ We find it easy to be honest with each other.

_____ We accept that each of us has different ways of doing things.

_____ We build each other's self-esteem.

_____ All things considered, we value each other and are committed to our well-being as a family.

Analyze the results you’ve got. Write three sentences describing how your family is involved in togetherness.

Our family’s traditions are:

1. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

All about us

CARING AND APPRECIATION

Families are strengthened by expressions of caring and appreciation. Strong families appreciate the uniqueness while cultivating a sense of belonging to the family, and contributions of each family member – expressing feelings of appreciation in words and actions. Family members tell each other they are special. In the hurry of daily responsibilities, we often forget the importance of letting people know how much they are appreciated. It’s so easy to take each other for granted, especially in families.

Showing you care brings family members together. You can show appreciation in three ways:

· Accent a person’s good qualities

· Congratulate family members on their accomplishments

· Show you care through words, a hug or touch, or other gesture

Accept the appreciation sent by other family members as it is important because it establishes trust and good will between people as well as builds self-esteem.

You will need to choose suitable phrases in the box.

We help each other We keep our promises to each other We are kind to each other We are thoughtful to each other We enhance each other’s self-esteem We avoid criticizing each other We enhance each other’s good qualities

Building caring and

appreciation

We like to show affection to each other We like to hug each other We wait for each other without complaining We forgive each other We practice good manners at home and with others We create a pleasant environment at home

Ways of expressing

Appreciation

We feel close to each other We grow stronger because we love each other We feel safe and secure in our interactions with each other We express feelings of appreciation in words and actions

Feelings

Appreciation and caring may be shown in many different ways. Match family members to ways listed and write their names on the line next to that way. List other ways to show appreciation and caring and match those to your family members.

a poem ___________________________________________________

an art/craft project___________________________________________________

a special letter ___________________________________________________

a handmade card ___________________________________________________

a handmade gift ___________________________________________________

a special food ___________________________________________________

a song ____________________________________________________

…………. ____________________________________________________

You are going to write a short composition “MY FAMILY IS SPECIAL”. Before writing a composition you have to know how to use a range of connecting words and phrases to make your composition more interesting and clear.

All about us

Family Ties

Yes, I believe in family ties

That flourish strong and pure,

That thrive in fond togetherness,

That help and mend and cure.

I cherish so the gatherings

That come with holidays,

The special times before the meals

When voices blend in praise.

And I believe in family fun.

In picnics, hikes and ball,

In barbecues in summertime

And lamb when roasted in fall.

Yes, I believe in fellowship

Because I realize

That keys to peace and happiness

Are found in family ties.

SPIRITUALITY

Spirituality is believing in a higher power and acting on a value system beyond self-interest. It provides a sense of purpose and support in everyday life and during difficult times. Spirituality offers a belief system that teaches how to have healthy relationships within the family and with others. A strong spiritual base:

· Provides a sense of love and being loved. It can improve your self-image.

· Provides a way to deal with successes and failures in relationships with family, friends and others. It teaches us to seek forgiveness when we have wronged another and learn to forgive when we have been wronged.

· Provides the comfort and feeling that our lives are part of a higher purpose.

Spirituality provides tools and models for building good relationships in the family. It is a key element in establishing strong caring families.

Healthy families live by the golden rule, treating others as they would have others treat them. Many strong families read inspirational books and value activities such as raying, singing and meditating. They share similar values and feel a guiding force in their lives.

Spirituality can be summarized in the following. Translate the reading.

“ONE”

One SMILE begins a friendship

One STAR can guide a ship at sea

One WORD can cheer you up

One CANDLE wipes out darkness

One SONG can change the mood

One BIRD can sound like springtime

One VOTE can change a nation

One LAUGH can conquer sadness

One HEART can know what is true

One TOUCH can show you care

One HOPE can lift your spirits

One LIFE can make a difference

One STEP must start each journey

One FRIEND can share your pain

One VOICE can speak with wisdom

One FLOWER can brighten the day

One TREE can start a forest.

Fill a Mandala in with symbols that are meaningful to you. In the centre, draw something that matters most to your family’s spirituality. You may find yourself thinking of ideas that are important to you and you family – whether they are cultural or personal.

All about us

OPTIMISM

Positive thinking, or optimism, is crucial to how we perceive life. Our happiness in life is determined by our attitude. Attitude is an important aspect of optimism.

Optimism can be defined as the energy that fuels your thoughts, feelings and actions based on the difference between your expectations and your perceptions of a situation.

Families that develop a positive attitude and are generally optimistic can maintain healthy relationships. Happiness, confidence, satisfaction and love are keys to positive relations.

The universal language of smile can communicate a positive attitude and a sense of optimism in day-to-day contacts with a family, friends and peers.

Optimism, or positive thinking, can help families feel hopeful during times of negative situations. They tell themselves “I can,” rather than “I can’t.” They see the glass as “half full,” rather than “half empty.”

Strong families change their focus from what they have not done to what they can do. From what they do not have, to what they do have. From where they have not been, to where they can go. From their weaknesses, to their strengths. Strong families are optimistic about the present and future and aspire to:

· look at the sunny side of everything, and make their optimism come true;

· think only the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best;

· be just as enthusiastic about the success of others, as they are about their own;

· give so much to the improvement of self that there is no time to criticize others;

· be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy for the presence of trouble.

All about us

Ask the same questions to your peers and find out the most optimistic person in the group. Write two sentences describing the person.

1. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Being flexible is important nowadays. Do you agree or disagree?

FLEXIBILITY

Many families throughout the world have shown remarkable resiliency, or flexible adjustment, to natural, economic and social challenges.

Family flexibility is the ability to cultivate strengths within a family that will help all members meet the challenges of life positively. Because families show flexibility in unique ways, there are no universal rules for success. Flexible families:

· work towards shared goals through self-sacrifice, persistence, and loyalty to other family members

· are resilient to change rules and share decisions that stimulate growth and health

· develop healthy lifestyles.

Resilient individuals demonstrate the following traits:

· Insight: seeing things as they really are and not being afraid to ask questions

· Independence: becoming one’s own person and not caught up in being someone else

· Healthy Relationships: connecting with peers and friends in ways that build self-worth and belonging

· Initiative: developing interests, talents, confidence and leadership abilities

· Humour: willing to laugh at self and with others

· Creativity: using art, sports, etc. to express one’s uniqueness.

Families that learn how to cope with challenges and meet individual needs are more flexible to stress and crisis. They learn to solve problems with cooperation, creative brainstorming and openness to others. A family’s goals, values, problem-solving skills and support affect its adaptation to long-term stress and crisis.

Read the statement under each trait. Place a 5 by the statement that is MOST like you and a 1 – that is LEAST like you. Add up your score for the first item under each trait and place in the space by number 1 at the bottom of the page. Add up your score for the second item under each trait and place in the space by number 2 at the bottom of the page. If your score is higher under number 1, your flexibility is probably pretty good. If your score is higher under number 2, your flexibility could probably be improved.

INSIGHT

1. ______________ I can sense when something in a relationship is going bad

2. ______________ My friends don’t seek my advice on relationship problems

INDEPENDENCE

1. ______________ I enjoy being my own person

2. ______________ People are always pulling me into their conflicts

RELATIONSHIPS

1. ______________ Listening and making friends are my strong suits

2. ______________ I often have no one to talk to about my problems

INITIATIVE

1. ______________ I am always coming up with and trying out new ideas

2. ______________ When there is a problem I usually wait for others to act

HUMOUR

1. ______________ I often see the funny side of things and can laugh at myself

2. ______________ When I am feeling down, it is no time to joke

CREATIVITY

1. ______________ My talents for art, crafts, music and others help me distress

2. ______________ I get run down and burned out with nothing to refresh me

TOTAL SCORE 1. ____________ 2. ____________

Analyze the results you’ve got. Prove your conclusion through examples from your life. Write some sentences.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

All about us

How well do you cope with stress? Complete this quick assessment to find out. In the blank, put a 0 – if the statement is definitely not true for you; 1 – if it is usually not true; 2 – if it is somewhat true; 3 – if it is definitely true.

1 ____ When I study hard, it makes a difference.

2 ____ Getting out of bed in the morning is easy for me.

3 ____ I have the freedom I want.

4 ____ At times, I have sacrificed for an exciting opportunity.

5 ____ Sticking to my routine is not important to me.

6 ____ I participate in community activities because I think it makes a

difference.

7 ____ I believe you make your own lucky breaks.

8 ____ I agree with the goals of my family.

9 ____ I strive to be a loving person to myself and others.

10 ____ I believe I get what I give.

11 ____ It is important for me to try new things.

12 ____ Free time is a gift I really enjoy.

13 ____ I work hard to help my family and I am rewarded for it.

14 ____ My family is a great pleasure to me.

15 ____ I speak up for what I believe in.

ADD YOUR SCORES FOR 1, 6, 7, 9, AND 13. TOTAL: _____

This is your stress management score. The higher it is, the more you are able to manage your stress and control your life.

ADD YOUR SCORES FOR 2, 3, 8, 10, AND 14. TOTAL: _____

This is your commitment score. The higher it is, the more you are committed to and enjoy life.

ADD YOUR SCORES FOR 4, 5, 11, 12, AND 15. TOTAL:______

This is your risk score. The higher it is, the more willing you are to take risks.

ADD ALL THREE SCORES TOGETHER. OVERALL SCORE: ______

This is your coping score.

If your overall score is 35 or above, you have very good coping skills.

If your overall score is 27 - 34, you have good coping skills.

If your overall score is 18 - 26, look at your habits & attitudes to improve your coping skills.

If your score is below 18, take time NOW to change your habits and attitudes.

Are you surprised by the results or are they what you expected them to be like? Do you agree with them? Why? Why not? Give a piece of advice to your peer how to cope with stressful situation. Write three sentences.

1. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

Decide what you want to stand for. Answer the questions below and write your group mission statement.

What is most important to you about your group?

What are your collective goals?

When do you feel most connected to one another?

How would you like to relate to one another?

Describe your group’s strengths.

What do you value? (For example, relationships, faith, independence, wealth, hard work, generosity)

All about us

GROUP MISSION

STATEMENT

“GROUP” means ____________

_________________________

________________________

Our GROUP mission statement:

________________________

What are your family values?

FAMILY VALUES

Many of our family ideals, beliefs, behaviours or “values” are merely habits of thinking or behaving.

Values are critical in building character and increasing an overall sense of well-being. The foundation of character building begins during infancy and slowly evolves through childhood and adolescence. People do not suddenly become honest and responsible. The development of these values is a long process that entails many interactions between children and adults.

Positive values within families:

· Promote honesty, integrity, commitment and loyalty

· Encourage respect for self and others and tolerance of differences

· Require being responsible and accountable for your actions

· Teach fairness and treating people equally

· Foster being a good citizen who appreciates doing things which make life better for self and other people.