Don't you ever touch me again.

KONWAY

What are you talking about?

I didn't even touch you.

TONY

(rabid)

Don't you ever touch me mister,

Or I'll call a cop.

KONWAY

You're wacko, man...

Nobody's even touching you.

TONY

Getcha hands off me.

Getcha hands off me.

CUT TO

FOREMAN

A no-nonsense task master. He hears the commotion and starts to walk over.

TONY

Getcha hands off me.

I'll call a cop.

WORKER 1

Now you guys've done it.

Here come the boss.

FOREMAN

What the hell is going on here?

BUGSY

Why nothin', Mr. Rathman.

KONWAY

I'll tell you what's going on.

This mental case here is startin'

With the stories again.

Now he's tellin' us he had

Two of 'em at the same time.

TONY

That's right. Just like a ham sandwich.

FOREMAN

Clifton, I'm not going to warn you again.

We're not payin' you to tell stories

About your screwin'.

TONY

(making no sense)

Yeah, well I'm not payin' you either.

FOREMAN

(bewildered)

Now everybody, get back to work or

I'll fire the whole lot of you. There's

Plenty of guys who would love to have

your jobs and you, Clifton, no more stories!

He leaves.

TONY

(to Bugsy)

He's just jealous 'cause he ain't gettin' any.

They go back to work for a while but Tony can't let it go.

TONY

(mumbling)

Tellin' me I've never seen how it looks.

I don't have ta take dat kind a crap.

BUGSY

Take it easy, Tony. You heard the boss...

There's other guys just waiting for these jobs.

TONY

Yeah, well, they can have it.

It's a bunch a crap anyway, if ya ask me.

What's the sense a standin' here all day

Screwin' on these tops when people get 'em

Home they have ta unscrew 'em anyway.

KONWAY

Watch it, Clifton,

Talk like that is un-American.

TONY

Don't talk to me about America, pal.

WORKER 1

Will you guys stop already?

TONY

One a these days I'm gonna

walk right outta here!

KONWAY

Is that a threat or a promise?

TONY

It's a threat and a promise.

WORKER 1

Will you guys please, please stop?

BUGSY

Tony, please.

TONY

All right.

(aside to Bugsy)

Dere must be somethin' more

Ta life than just standin' around here.

I saw dis movie last night on TV.

It's about dis girl, y' know,

She goes over da rainbow and

she sees paradise. Y'know, like... heaven.

She sees like... meaninful in life.

Maybe we should go over the rainbow.

Y'know what I mean?

BUGSY

(trying to comprehend

what Tony just said)

Yeah....

(pause)

Tonight you wanna go bowlin'?

TONY

Bowlin'? I'll tell ya what we should do.

We'll go dancin'... Disco -- disco-tago.

I'll show ya how to pick up some chiquitas.

BUGSY

A disco? ... Those girls are a little

Too young for us aren't they?

TONY

Da way I look at it Bugsy is...

If they're old enough ta bleed,

They're old enough to butcher.

BUGSY

(embarrassed)

Gee, Tony, I don't know.

TONY

Come on. We'll get all snazzed up.

BUGSY

But I don't know how to dance.

TONY

Don't worry, I'll show ya. I can do

The twister better'n Chubby Checker.

(smirk)

CUT TO

INT. DISCOTHEQUE - LATER

Laser lighting, fog machines, vibrating dance floor. Couples are dancing to the latest disco hits. There's no one over 25 in the place. We hear the theme from “Saturday Night Fever” and at any moment we'd expect Travolta to walk in. Instead, Clifton appears. He's dressed to kill. Peach tuxedo with cumberbun. With him is an uncomfortable Bugsy.

BUGSY

Tony, I don't think this is our kind of place.

TONY

Lemme tell ya somethin' about the female

species a manhood... they're nothin' but a

Life support system for a pussy.

(spots a Girl)

You see that chick over dere?

We see an attractive Girl standing alone.

TONY

Watch dis... I'm gonna show ya how it's done.

Tony approaches Girl.  Bugsy watches from afar.

TONY

Hey, good lookin', what ya got cookin'?

How'd ya like ta cook somethin' up with me?

(stupid grin)

GIRL

Would I what?

TONY

Do ya wanna shake a leg? Y'know,

Slice up da dance floor a little?

GIRL

Get lost, asshole.

She leaves.

TONY

Okay, okay. I can take a hint.

Tony struts back to Bugsy.

BUGSY

What did she say?

TONY

What did who say?

BUGSY

The Girl you were just talking to.

TONY

(whispering)

Oh, her. Well, at closer inspection

I realized da broad had a hair lip.

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