To ya, but I got some urinals to clean.

Maybe you can just give me somethin'

Fo' myself an' we can call it a day.

He puts his hand out for a tip.

TONY

Whatta ya got ya hand out dere for?

Whatta ya talkin' about?

PEE WEE

Whatta ya think I'm talkin' about? I'm talkin'

About the tip. Whatta ya think, I make money

Offa dis stuff? Dis all goes to da management.

I live offa my tips. If I didn't get tips,

I'd have ta find myself another job.

TONY

Ya want a tip, huh?

PEE WEE

Dat's right.

TONY

Tell me, how much ya want?

PEE WEE

Well, whatever ya wanna give me.

TONY

Whatever I wanna give ya?

PEE WEE

Dat's right.

TONY

How about a penny?

PEE WEE

A penny! I don't want no penny.

TONY

Here's a penny.

Tony takes out a penny and flips it on the floor.

PEE WEE

(furious)

What? Get outta here!

TONY

Here. See if ya can catch

This one in your mouth.

(flips another coin)

PEE WEE

You're crazy, man -- get outta here.

TONY

(authoritative)

By da way... I wanna see your green card.

PEE WEE

Green card! I don't need no green card.

My mappy and pappy dun worked

On da plantation.

TONY

Mappy? Sounds just like happy,

If y'know what I mean.

PEE WEE

I don't know what you mean!

You just get outta here!

TONY

Shut up. Why don't ya get a ladder

So I don't have ta look down at ya.

Tony pushes the midget in the face. The midget starts to kick Tony in the shins. Tony fends him off and leaves.

OUTSIDE OF MEN'S ROOM - TONY

Douses himself again with Purple Passion. We can actually see the fumes rising off his person. Tony makes his way through the crowd, which parts like the Red Sea to let him and his scent pass. He walks up to a Girl.

TONY

How ya doin', honey?

GIRL

You smell!

She walks away holding her nose.

TONY

Why, thank you very much. Dat's my secret.

Dat's for me ta know and you ta find out.

Next, Tony sees four eligible girls sitting at a table. They are heavy into conversation. Tony struts over and stands right next to them.

TONY

Well, well, well... what have we here.

It looks ta me like da whole kit and kaboodle.

She's da kit...

(points to one girl)

And you all are the kaboodle.

(smirk)

The girls are totally oblivious to Tony.

TONY

(continuing anyway)

Kaboodle... kaboodle... sounds just like ah...

Noodle. As in, gimme a bowl of noodles.

(laughs)

Dat reminds me a da time I was eatin' a bowl

A noodles. I was sittin' in a restaurant in Cologne.

The girls' boyfriends return and they all get up and leave. Tony, now alone, stops his story, looks around, sees another table of people and struts up to them.

TONY

Dat reminds me a da time I was

In Cologne, eatin' a bowl a noodles.

CUT TO

BUGSY

At the bar drinking.

BARTENDER

You want another one?

BUGSY

No thanks, one's plenty.

Tony walks up and sits down next to Bugsy.

BUGSY

Gee, Ton, what didja do, fall in?

TONY

Well, I'm pleased ta report

That everything came out allright.

(smirk, smirk)

Did I miss anything when I was gone?

Were dere any chiquitas lookin' for me?

BUGSY

No. Jesus! What's that smell?

TONY

Dat's my little secret, Bugsy,

My little secret.

(proud smirk)

Hey, Bartender, another round here.

(continuing)

Bugsy, tell me, what's that

Dance they're doin' dere?

BUGSY

I think they call it the hustle.

TONY

The hustle! It looks more like da bustle ta me.

That's no way ta dance. I think these kids

Need ta learn a little lesson here.

(getting up)

BUGSY

Tony, don't.

Tony steps onto the dance floor.

TONY

(yelling)

Stop da music... stop da music.

The DJ stops the music, thinking it might be something important. The place is silent.

TONY

I've been watchin' you people here and it

Seems ta me you all don't know how ta dance.

We hear numerous boos and catcalls.

BOY 1

Get lost!

BOY 2

I think your prom date just left without you!

TONY

I think you better watch your mouth or

I'll push your face right into your soup!

At this point the DJ realizes the man's crazed and puts the music back on. (Hit song written especially for the film.) Tony unbuttons his coat and starts to twist. It's a pitiful spectacle to behold.

TONY

(twisting)

This is how it's done. Okay, okay, get your

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