They start to close in on him.

TONY

Come on, guys...

Let's not lose our heads over this.

They grab him and carry him off.

TONY

(screaming)

Getcha hands off me.

Getcha hands off me...

I'll call a cop.

INT. TV STUDIO - WALTER CRONKITE

Sitting behind desk.

WALTER CRONKITE

Hello, this is Walter Cronkite...

From presidents to popes to

assembly line workers in Philadelphia...

All the world is mourning the

Now-believed death of performer,

Tony Clifton. Tony, you may recall,

Stormed out of his own premier two

Nights ago, vowing never to return

Again. According to his producer

And deep personal friend, Andy

Kaufman, “Tony was in a fit of

Artistic inertia, brought on by

His ever growing dependency to

Heroin.” In a detailed suicide

Letter, found by Mr. Kaufman

hinself, Tony stated... Life had

become too much for him... he

Wanted out. The note went on to

Personally thank Mr. Kaufman for all

He had done for him. And to show his

Appreciation, he wanted all proceeds

From any Tony Clifton memorabilia,

Which he was certain would spring up

After his death, to go directly to

Mr. Kaufman... But then, he left these

Last final words to his fans, “I love

each and every one of you... remember me...

(beat)

Keep buyin' my records.” In life

he was a giant... in death, a star who

will be imortalized throughout eternity...

(pause)

... and that's the way it is...

This is Walter Cronkite... Good night.

MONTAGE OF CLIFTON MEMORABILIA

selling like hotcakes. Various shots of eager fans buying up Clifton records, dolls, posters, tuxedos, T-shirts, etc. Clifton dolls are literally being taken out of store windows... shop keepers are shaking their heads “no” through locked doors.

INT. GYMNASIUM - A HUGE BANNER

Stretched across the wall, reads: “TRIBUTE TO CLIFTON”. Zmuda, dressed in a peach tux, is talking over business with Kaufman.

ZMUDA

According to the latest sales figures...

Record sales have quadrupled in the last

week... they can't press them fast enough.

ANDY

How are tickets going

for the Forest Lawn concert...

(correcting himself)

I mean, services?

ZMUDA

Went on sale at five-thirty this morning...

Sold out two hours later.

ANDY

Great! Release the rest to the scalpers,

At triple the price.

ZMUDA

Gotchya.

(starts to walk away)

ANDY

And do me a favor...

ZMUDA

(stopping)

Sure, what?

ANDY

(referring to the tux)

Put on something else.

Zmuda leaves. Kaufman walks out onto the gym floor and blows a whistle. From his p.o.v., we see fifty Tony Clifton-Lookalikes lining up.

ANDY

Okay, let's try it again...

and remember, men...

It's up to you to keep the

legend of Tony alive...

In every state of the Union.

They applaud exuberantly.

ANDY

First, the cigarettes and strut...

They all take out cigarettes and light up.

ANDY

Okay... Getcha hands off me.

CLIFTON-LOOKALIKES

(strutting)

Getcha hands off me.

ANDY

I'll call a cop.

CLIFTON-LOOKALIKES

(in unison)

I'll call a cop.

ANDY

So, I'm eatin' this bowl a noodles in Cologne...

CANNIBAL VILLAGE - CLOSEUP - TONY

TONY

So, I'm eatin' this bowl a noodles in Cologne...

Camera pulls back to reveal Tony in a large pot of water with a fire lit underneath. The savages are eagerly awaiting the outcome. They are wearing fine French napkins around their necks and grasping silverware... probably left over from the Amelia Earhart crash. One native is chopping carrots into the “stew”. Tony speaks to him.

TONY

Don't skimp, my good man...

you wanna be able to savor my flavor.

Even in his last minutes, Tony is “cookin'.”

TONY

Well, since we're waitin' for

things to heat up here a little...

(smirk, smirk)

TONY

(continuing)

... I thought I'd go out on a song...

And since we're all strangers

Here -- and it is a lovely night --

all things considerin'... I'd like

Ta sing a song that was sung by a

man named Francis Albert Sinatra...

it was a big hit for him in 1964...

Let's just hope we can make it a big

Hit underneath the stars here tonight.

A one, and a two...

(singing)

“Strangers in the night,

exchangin' glances...”

The Natives do.

TONY

“Wonderin' in the night, what were

⇐ Предыдущая25262728293031323334Следующая ⇒

Поделиться: