Audience at first politely laughs. Interpreters fill in the Chinese Delegation, who are smiling until they hear what's said.

TONY

That reminds me, what time does

Da Chinaman go ta the dentist?

Two-thirty... get it... “tooth hurty”.

(smirk, smirk)

Interpreters repeat it to Chinese Delegation that is becoming more and more agitated. Kaufman is laughing in the wings.

PRESIDENT

(to aide)

Is this someone's idea of a joke?

I want him off.

TONY

I knew a guy, went ta five different

Doctors, thought he had yellow jaundice.

Finally, he found out he was Chinese!

Chinese Delegation is beginning to stand. Aide comes on stage and whispers in Tony's ear.

TONY

Whatta ya talkin' about? I'm entertaining

The little people here. If they can't take a

Joke, maybe they should take a “slow boat

to China” where they belong. Get it...

“slow boat to China”.

(smirk, smirk)

The aide is trying to pull Tony off stage. Chinese Delegation is storming out.

TONY

Don't let those chinks leave.

We should make 'em hostages

until they lower the oil!

Getcha hands off me.

Getcha hands off me.

Grab 'em, they don't even

have green cards...

At least frisk 'em ta see if they're

Walkin' out with the china.

The place is in shambles. White House security men are tugging at Tony. The President is vomiting.

CUT TO

INT. NEW YORK NBC STUDIO - INFORMATION DESK - GUARD

Sitting at desk. A couple of people come up to him; he checks their names against a list and lets them pass. Anna Fingerhut, being the free spirit that she is, walks past him without stopping.

GUARD

Just a minute, miss.

What's your name?

ANNA

Anna Fingerhut.

GUARD

(checking list)

Fingerhut... Fingerhut. Here it is...

Anna Fingerhut, Tony Clifton Show.

That's taping in studio fourteen...

Straight out this door and to the right.

ANNA

Thank you.

GUARD

You're welcome.

We follow Anna walking down the corridor. She passes various technicians and prop people. One technician checks her out and whistles. Her response is a pleasant smile as she keeps walking.

INT. KAUFMAN'S NBC OFFICE

A very posh one. Kaufman is briefing Zmuda on today's show.

ANDY

And no matter what happens,

I want those cameras to keep rolling.

ZMUDA

Don't worry, I'll be in the control room.

We won't miss a thing.

Hey, what's with the seal?

Andy walks over to the painting of himself on the wall and looks at it.

ANDY

(mysteriously)

The seal's a surprise!

He slides the painting to the side, exposing a little window from which he can look down into the studio. He spots Anna among the technicians who are busily at work.

ANDY

Where's Tony now?

ZMUDA

In his room meditating,

Just like you told him to.

ANDY

Good. Go check to see if Igor arrived yet.

ZMUDA

I just checked five minutes ago.

ANDY

(stern)

Go check again.

(smile)

Please.

Zmuda gets up and walks out of room and down stairs. He is stopped by Anna.

ANNA

Excuse me, can you tell me

Where Andy Kaufman's office is?

ZMUDA

His royal majesty is straight up those stairs.

(begins to walks off)

Wait a second, you're not Anna, are you?

ANNA

Yes, I am.

ZMUDA

Well hello, hello. I'm a friend of Tony's.

Boy, is he gonna be happy to see you!

That's all he's been talking about lately...

Anna this, Anna that.

ANNA

(flattered)

Tony is a good man.

ZMUDA

Yeah, he is.

(in direction of Kaufman's office)

Though you wouldn't know it

If it were left up to some people.

ANNA

What do you mean?

ZMUDA

Nothing, just show biz.

(changes subject)

Hey, are you going to stick around

And watch the taping?

ANNA

Yes, I'd like to very much.

ZMUDA

Good, then I'll be seeing you later.

I have to run now. Bye.

ANNA

Bye.

INT. KAUFMAN'S OFFICE - KAUFMAN

Is chilling a bottle of wine. There is a knock on the door. Kaufman runs back behind his desk and makes believe he is studying something.

ANDY

Come in.

Anna enters.

ANNA

Hello.

ANDY

(looking down)

Yes, what is it?

ANNA

I'm Anna Fingerhut, Tony's friend.

ANDY

(looking up)

Oh yes, Anna. Hello. I'm Andy Kaufman.

(expecting big response,

But not getting it)

I hope you had a pleasant flight.

ANNA

Yes, I did.

ANDY

(walks to wine)

Would you care for something to drink?

ANNA

(senses scam)

No, thank you.

ANDY

(changing approach)

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